it's a messy casserole, after all

So that friend I mentioned a few posts back got back to me! Very nice e-running into old friends. Anyway, he gave me a good topic for this one; "So, like, what the hell you doing in Baghdad? That is quite a place to be at this moment in time. what do you think of the war? what kind of work is it you're doing? You probably guessed I'm against it like the majority of people on earth are, I only hope you are there trying to do some good...?" ... erm. I get this alot... and it's really bothersome for me. I am on the Bush Bashing Bandwagon, no doubt about it. Every time I see his picture on CNN or FOX or some other entertainment network like those, I want to vomit. Well, okay, not REALLY, but the man makes me sick. And yet...
And yet. Here I am, livin' large offa the cash flow tricklin' down from the blindfolded lady of justice's now-covered nipple. Alot of people here feel pretty much the same way... Love my country, Hate my Government, but money's cool, too.
So the burden of guilt is on me, and now I hafta explain myself. See, this is why I shouldn't be blogging. I've got too much to answer for, and I'm a terrible liar.
Anyway. I'll tell you what I told him. (But with alot more words, 'cause I've had time to think about it...) I am a migrant worker. I'm a migrant worker because for as long as I can remember, I've always wanted to travel. I've travelled lots of places simply by finding a job in some far off place and tramped around on my time off. It's awesome! I can't imagine my life up to this point having gone any other way. Baghdad was simply the next logical step in that series of steps that  I was already, well, you know. Stepping...on. Or something. I try not to say things like 'Path' or 'Life's Journey', because even though Bush won't make me actually vomit, gay cliches like those just might.
Well. Baghdad. Next logical step. And believe me, I've seen some things and changed in ways I never thought I'd be lucky enough to experience. Or unlucky. Your choice how to take it.
I have a similar relationship with my job that I have with my country: Love my work, hate my boss. I'm Project Manager of a large camp for security teams! WOW! I started as a Housekeeping supervisor at my last job. I get to make decisions and stuff, now, like a real grown-up person! If the guy who hired me had known me better, well, let's just say I got real lucky. Still, this will always look awesome on my resume, no matter how it ends up. But my boss drives me insane. He's one of those guys that thinks he knows something about work, even though he's had a silver spoon up his butt for most of his life.
I have met alot of friends here in Iraq... There is a family that I've been working with since my first week here. I brought them with me when I changed jobs. When I leave, likely I'll never see them again. That's true anyway, even in America... It's rare that you ever again meet up with people you knew in a certain setting (school, work, etc..) once you leave it. But the difference here in Iraq is that the departing is much more stark. Every time I go on vacation, my Iraqi friends make a point of making me promise to come back...
There's also a very real excitement that comes with being in the middle of the world's most watched TV drama. I've met ambassadors, seen really big explosions, and whistled 'Darth Vader's Theme' while Paul Bremer and Dan Rather walked by my dinner table, back in the CPA days. I've eaten dinner Iraqi style in the home of some Bona Fide Iraqis... That family I was telling you about. I've driven in a not very sober state alone at high speeds down Route Irish, 'The Most Dangerous Road in Iraq'. Okay, yes I'm stupid.
The money. It's great. I can buy a chicken farm with a fireplace, now.
  But let's get right down to it. There is not one single reason named above keeping me here, in and of itself. They do make a fine casserole, though.
And what do I think of the war? The war sucks. All the lies, which are more obvious than George W. being a throwback chimpanzee, they suck too. You know what else sucks? The insurgents. They suck pretty bad. They kill more Iraqis than anyone else, in the name of God. Alot of my employees have had to quit because someone found out they were working for Americans, and were threatened. One of Scott's employees was actually kidnapped and ransomed for $30,000 or so. That sucks. My best Iraqi friend, Steven, was afraid to tell his new girlfriend that he worked with Americans until 2 months or so had passed and he made sure she wouldn't be the type to tell someone. Pretty sucky. If you check out some pictures I found on a disc here, you'll see lots of other sucky stuff related to the war.
Anyway, not sure where I was going with that.  I'm not sure that there's anywhere to go with it.
  So as you can see, if nothing else, my reasoning certainly is pretty messy. Good thing I named my page the way I did... so Apropos!