messiestobjects

Non-smokin' Gun At The IZ Corral

Today is my one year anniversary! On this day in 2005, I was so sick with a bout of the infamous Baghdad Special, I couldn't even smoke. I was laid over with the squirts, a fever, sore throat... you name it, it was bad. This went on for three days, by the end of which, I had completely forgotten I was a smoker. Slipped my mind. So I am here today to tell you that the crapping your brains out method really works, folks. I might have to patent that.
So things is gettin' interestin' here at the IZ corral... We are now 3 days away from the official end date of our contract, and we have heard exactly nothing from our client about what our status is. Either they are incredibly incompetent, or are about to do something incredibly illegal. Either way, we're more or less prepared, and it's about to get very interesting, finally.

Smoky Ethics

You know that whole thing where it's a Federal offense to buy or sell Cuban cigars in the U.S.? You know, because we don't like Castro, so we won't let him bring over his cigars and play in our sandbox? Well, there is a coffee shop inside the U.S. Embassy here in the sunny Baghdad Interzone which sells Cuban cigars, displayed all nice and smoky looking in a nice humidor right over the counter. Perhaps the State Department isn't aware of this little inconsistency... perhaps someone ought to run on down the hall and tell them; I suppose they don't get out of their offices much. Not that it's illegal to be selling Cuban Cigars here, it is another country after all. But it is somewhat indicative of how the government views ethics as they pertain to themselves. Actually, now I think about it, isn't a U.S. Embassy considered U.S. soil? Perhaps it's not so legal after all... ah well, even if that's the case, I'm sure there's a perfectly moral loophole somewhere.
As a further tidbit of interest, there is a bar somewhere in Baghdad, the location and ownership of which I am not at liberty to disclose, which sells Cubans, also. At least, they did at one time; I haven't been there in quite a while. Lets just say it's the spookiest bar in town, and leave it at that.

Party at the Love Shack!

So has anybody been watching the news as regards my very-in-trouble boss? The news has actually been more about the first guy they arrested, Mr. Stein, who was Project Manager at my camp for one month way back when I first started working for Phil. If you haven't, here's a link to my favorite article so far, which I copied and pasted from Fayetteville Online. And here's a NY Times article which has more pre-trial gory details. Bob went to court last Thursday, pleading guilty to all 5 charges against him... not a good sign that he didn't even try to defend. Also, not good for Phil when Bob fingered him as the plot instigator. Something tells me I won't be seeing that lunatic here again any time soon!
The newest major detail to come out of Bob's trial, though, is Phil's scandalously lurid "SEX VILLA"... where he lured officials into bribe schemes... those poor, misguided, easily swayed government officials, huh? Phil must be the devil himself to be able to lead those stalwart examples of our nation's finest into temptation!
Actually, all sarcasm aside, I'd believe it if he were the devil himself...
At any rate, I am proud to say that, even though I was invited on several occasions to party at the villa, I never did go. I never did feel comfortable accepting that invitation, especially since Phil wanted an RSVP signed in blood.... just kidding.
Sort of.