In Which I Try To Prove To Myself That I Am Not A Narcissist. I'm Not, Am I? I Don't Know, Maybe I Am. Perhaps I Should Devote This Post To I Instead So That I Can Say For Sure Whether Or Not I Am... What Do I Think About That?

Something I was thinking about this morning has been bothering me, and so I figured I'd just go ahead and attack it here: A lot of times when I post about things here I sort of perform this censorship when it comes to the Iraqis I know. I often would like to say things about them, or things that happen involving them, as it's hardly balanced to be trying to give a picture of what it's like here without including the local populace. I don't have any pictures on my smugmug page of the Iraqis I've known for three years now, though I view some as friends as close as any I've had. But I tend to write them out, for a very good reason actually. Iraqis that work with Americans, especially in the Interzone where the entry/exit checkpoints are presumedly closely watched by the bad extremist element, tend to be very shy about letting other Iraqis know where it is that they spend their days. They ebb and flow, but attacks against Iraqis helping Americans are unfortunately a routine circumstance. Praise to Allah none have happened to my friends, (KNOCK THE HELL OUT OF SOME WOOD FOR ME!) but there have been a few on people of a more passing acquaintance nature.
Anyway, my constant fear is that by putting too much of a face to them will, however unlikely as my web page hits are mostly limited to friends and family of the Western persuasion, lead to a vengeful Iranian/Islamic nutjob discovering them. (That post about Abu Anwar, you might be asking me, gives a name though! But Abu (father of) Anwar is equivalent to like, you know, Mike. Or Mohammed. There's a million of 'em.) Even Riverbend, as much as I admire her, seems to have, at best, contempt for Iraqis working in the Interzone. While I don't feel that any opinion I have can really be objective in this matter, I have to say that's rather elitist of her. She obviously comes from a relatively well-to-do family in Baghdad and I think may not understand what less fortunate families need to do to get by, and honestly we rich American pigs provide an alternative to boiled shoes for dinner for a lot of people. I don't mean to be on any high horse; regular readers know that I am much more ashamed of what we've done here than proud, but I am happy to be able to help out in as small a way as I can, and people have to find work where they can.
Anyway, I've actually gone rather far afield from where I'd intended.
My point was that I wanted to try and put some perspective on my Iraqis. My Iraqis. Ok, I really hate it when I write that, but I do it often. I mean obviously they're not MY Iraqis. But still. It's their country, I'm the intruder, but I'm their boss. If I were in the States I'd say 'My employees'. But sometimes it feels like you need to make the distinction, you know? Still, it makes me uncomfortable, and I do it anyway. And also, many of the tiny anecdotes that do slip in, like in the comments from my last post where I'm all like, "Sometimes I would come out and say something funny and my Iraqis would laugh, because it was genuinely funny and not just because I was the boss, so there. And they don't even speak English, so you know I was damn funny if they got it." That dumb joke I made there feels like I'm all like "Duh, they don't speak English. They're so dumb, I was speaking English when I was like, 2 years old! It's so easy! Don't they get it?" Now, obviously, If you de-construct it that's not what I'm saying at all. I mean, what that stupid joke is saying is that they are servile and are kowtowing to their American master! Duh. But that's not true at all either, it was just a stupid joke, like all of my jokes, and while nobody reads it and really takes it that way... still.
I just wanted to give a better picture of what they're really like than what comes through from stupid jokes.
So let's start with S. - S. is my main guy. He actually does my job. It's great! He also speaks awesome English. When I first met him 3 years ago, he had fairly broken English. Better than many Iraqis, but nothing fantastic. He's been studying and watching TV and he picked it up really fast. He's way smarter than me. I don't do anything without consulting him, first. Well, that's not entirely true, but near enough. He's got a brother, R., who also works for me. He speaks English also, though not as well. Although I suspect he speaks better than he lets on, so he can pretend to not understand when you tell him something he doesn't want to hear. Without these two guys, I'd have to pack up and go home; GBG wouldn't have lasted a week without them. S. has the biggest office in the camp, which also doubles as our TV room; there's a thousand inch plasma TV with surround system in there. He's got the best office in the camp, and it's not as much as he deserves. When you walk in there, it looks like an operation to take over the world; it's great! Scott and I often joke about being afraid to piss S. off, and that we really shouldn't do anything about whatever the situation happens to be without clearing it with him first for fear of making him angry at me. Actually, come to think of it, there's more truth than joke to that.
A while back, my boss in Romania wanted me to fire the Iraqis that work in the 100 man camp as we weren't really operating anyway, and what were we paying them for? I refused on the grounds that if there are no Iraqis working here, then there are just like three Americans here with no security. Ok fine, he says, keep a few gate guards and S. No way, I says. I don't care if the 20 Iraqis I've employed here are sitting around getting paid and not doing anything, I want them here, because the less people in the camp, the more vulnerable and exposed I feel. I feel safer surrounded by Iraqis than without them! Go ahead, ask any other American in the Interzone if they feel the same way, and %90 of the time you'll get a racial, redneck response, and the other %10 will just be like "Are you freaking crazy?" Which is a stupid way to look at it. Iraqis by and large just want to live their life. The insurgents, terrorists, etc. are pretty much never Iraqi. The Sunnis and Shiites blowing each other up are largely Iranian instigated. Iraqis, until recently, didn't give a damn whether their neighbor was other than their own religious persuasion.
Another Iraqi whom I've known these 3 years, H., often brings me food because she feels bad that I only eat bad cafeteria food all of the time. Her aunt, I. who worked for the first company I worked for when I came here, makes Briani, which is my favorite Iraqi dish ever. It's fairly simple; a base of rice with slivers of lamb or chicken, mixed with nuts, peas, watercress, raisins, fried potato chunks, and lots of other tasty stuff. Her uncle works in the tailor shop where Scott, Dave, Rodney and I used to go to get those custom-tailored suits, back when it was safe, relatively, to walk the streets of Baghdad. We ate dinner at their house once back then, also, the first time I encountered and fell in love with I.'s Briani.
I'm going to marry H. She's awesome. Mmm, Briani.
There are others, but that's a good start, I guess.

Comments

[TF]

I hope you're going to write a book about all of this.

[messiestobjects]

A book? You mean one 'a those snail blog things, like on paper? Huh. I dunno. I'm not sure I have the stamina for something like that. By the time I get to the end of a post, I'm usually totally out of breath, covered in sweat, and have gone through two cups of coffee... a book might kill me. Besides, my friend Scott, who doesn't waste his energies on blogging, is thinking about doing a book one day and he's a way better writer than me, so I'm not sure my book would compete very well. Thanks for the flattery though!

[Carolina]

Hello there!

Your site is really interesting. I invite you to visit my blog, I hope that you like it.

Greetings,

[messiestobjects]

Gah! Don't you people realize that giving compliments to narcissists is like giving a baby with lung cancer a cigarette?
Anyway, Thank you Carolina. I went to your page, but it was all in Spanish. I found the babelfish link, but I couldn't get it to work... keep in mind I'm an idiot about that stuff. And also my internet is really slothic (I know it's not a word... I officially must coin it. It really should be a word.) and sometimes pages with loads of bling wiggle their fingers in their ears and stick their tongues out at me. Do you have a link to your page in english?

[hooligan]

You dork. Babies don't know how to smoke. They have to be, like, 3 at least before they have that kind of manual dexterity. DUR.

[hooligan]

I mean, sure, MY kid can smoke, but he's always been pretty advanced for his age. I'm talking about, you know, regular kids. :)

[messiestobjects]

Ok, normal babies, no. I'll grant you that. But babies with lung cancer OBVIOUSLY know how to smoke. Duh. Oh, unless they have lung cancer because they were born in New Jersey... that's a different story then I guess.
Ok then, giving compliments to narcissists is like giving a high-colonic to the Republican Right. You know, because it just reinforces their belief that their sh** don't stink.

[TF]

There's a place in my city that makes the dish you speak of. It's freaking' awesome and makes me feel good about me.

[messiestobjects]

Doesn't Briani RULE?! That's great they serve it in the US somewhere. But let me know if you all 'a sudden want to marry the waitress that brings it to your table. If so, there's very possibly a global conspiracy by women to use Briani to hypnotize us into marriage, and if so I need to have a little chat with H.

[TF]

I'm in Canada, and I do feel the urge to marry the waitress whenever biryani is served. Strange, indeed...

Do you get 'samoon'? It's the triangular Iraqi bread I've seen. I'm sure it tastes no different than other breads, but ever since I've seen them I've wanted to try them.

Mmmmm...middle eastern foods...

[hooligan]

Man, you HAVE been gone a long time. I know some places in the world aren't the most, um, ethnically diverse, but America isn't one of them. Melting pot, remember? There are Arab-Americans all over the place! Middle Eastern food = not hard to find here (the U.S.) Unless you're in, like, Arkansas. But if you're in Arkansas, you've probably got bigger problems than which ethnic restaurant to go to. For one, "how to explain to Jethro what take-out is."

[messiestobjects]

Yah, samoon (I always spell it in my head like salmon, but I'm kinda retarded that way) is actually the word Iraqis use for bread, any bread. But there is a type of Iraqi flatbread similar to pita, and goes very well with hummus or baba-genush.. again I'm probably spelling all silly but whatever. Oh, and next time you go to that restaraunt, KEEP GOING! RUN LIKE A DRY MIDDLE EASTERN DESERT WIND, DUDE! THAT BRIANI IS TAINTED!
Hooligan, I'm from Stroudsburg remember? The biggest thing that ever happened to middle eastern food there was that week the local Lebanese restaraunt hired a blonde white-trash belly dancer from New Jersey. I think they went out of business like a month later.

[hooligan]

What? From where? What about Andy's burger joint on the corner of Main and like, 7th Street? GYROS! Hee hee. Oh, alright, then, Arkansas or the Poconos are not going to have your wide selection. However, there's a HUGE Arab population in Tampa. And also in Portland, Oregon, and Detroit. Go, Ford Motor Company, go! I think it's Ford that has prayer rooms for Muslims on their lunch hour. Of course, being America, they were also required to install one for every OTHER religion represented by their employees, so there are like 7 rooms. That's the beauty of a country that worships money. Keeps your internecine religious persecution in check. Back to work! All hail the U.S. Treasury! Which reminds me of the Arabs I work with. We don't, you know, stone them until AFTER 5pm. Bad for business.