Welcome, Little Sol Brothers & Sisters!

I was all ready to title this entry 'Astronomers Are Stupid', because of Pluto's demotion. But when I thought about it, I decided that I don't really care if it's called a planet, a dwarf planet, the first "plutonian", or a proto trans-Neptunian ice gob. Actually, now I think about it even more, and realize that the people who are depressed that the solar system just got smaller don't really understand the laws of physics. Einstein's first implied law of E=MC² says that re-classifying the scientific nomenclature of something neither creates nor destroys matter. Therefore, by implication only, of course, one can deduce that Pluto has in fact not gone anywhere. In actual point of fact, this whole thing just makes the solar system even more interesting! Now we have a whole new breed of Sol brothers (and sisters)! Dwarf planets! How cool is that? And instead of just one, we have 3 of 'em! So, instead of losing a planet, we gained 3 dwarfs. Pluto, Ceres, and Xena, and Xena is way hot, I'm told. Good in a fight, too. Looks great in a metal bikini. Okay enough of that.
Also, something that many people might not be aware of, but there may be a good reason why the abrupt turnaround on Pluto. You see, the assembly where the International Astronomical Union decided to vote on Pluto was held in Prague, and as anybody that has been there may know, in Prague, absinthe is legal! Until the last 5 years or so, absinthe was only legal in like 3 countries, and the Czech Republic was one of them, so they have a booming absinthe industry. Absinthe, as anyone knows, really gets the creative juices flowing... Hemingway, Van Gough... it also makes you stupid-crazy in the long term, but you never get something for nothing, you know. There's that pesky science again... conservation of matter and all that. Anyway I digress.
So these Astronomers were all hanging out, getting wasted on absinthe. And although they all showed up with the intention of voting to make Pluto, Ceres, and Xena into planets, they instead got all absinthed up and fidgety, and some tipsy fellow said "Whassat? Kepler wasn' no dwarf intellect you scoundrel! He wuzza planetary motion genius! Tycho Brae was a hack!" And then the smart drunk guy next to him said, "Huzzah! Wot? Dwarf planet!? Tha's fergin' brilliant, is wot that is! In'nit?!" And the rest is history.
If you've had absinthe before, you will understand. Hopefully by the time these guys get home, they'll all still have ears.

Comments

[TF]

Absinthe, eh?

I bought a bottle and spoon for a friend but didn't partake myself.

Actually, the type I bought him probably didn't have much thujone but it's the thought that counts, I guess.

I take it you buy the real deal? How is it??

[messiestobjects]

Bought, my friend, as in past tense. I lead a clean & sober life nowadays... But absinthe was a really fun lifestyle. A little plastic surgery and I can hear %80 as well as I used to! Right. But no really, it's just this thing I know about because I've been to Prague. I myself have never carmelized sugar over a low flame and stirred it into the glass of abinthe, downing shot after shot for hours with friends and then decided to have some fun by running a scooter at full speed into a barbed wire fence repeatedly to see who could get the longest hang time... it's just this thing I heard about.