messiestobjects

Messiestobjects' Messy Morality

I love Keth Olbermann. His latest Special Comment, regarding the ambush of Clinton on Fox News and his rather appropriate reaction, despite what "the other side" is saying; namely, that he came off poorly because he lost his cool. What kind of idiot values composure over the truth? When someone is being attacked and having their contributions to history re-written, I think that a bit of loss of cool is extremely justified. It was actually very nice to be reminded of what it's like to have a real man, a real human being, as President.
Anyway, I suppose I don't really have the right to take a side against the current administration. It was recently pointed out to me that, being a contractor in Iraq means that I am being very hypocritical when I rail against Bush and his war. I admit, I don't know how to counter this charge, or if there even is one. I've found myself in a very strange place, and I'm not sure how to resolve it. I mean, as the talented Mr. Ripley says, nobody thinks they're a bad person.
I have admitted the amorality of my position before; specifically in my June 15th post after reading Riverbend's book. I don't suppose admitting it is enough to justify it, though. What I'm trying to say is that, even though I am here, and, while maybe not necessarily getting rich, certainly getting middle class off of this war, I don't feel that I've given up the right to my humanity, which allows me to take a position against outright evil. Is there a taint on my soul which I will be called to account for one day? Certainly. Regardless of my original motivations for coming here, I have long outlasted my justifiable rationale for staying.
In this I can judge myself. In this, all of the human race can judge itself! Everyone has found themselves somewhere they don't belong, at one time or another. However, does the guy that designs websites for a souless corporation give up his right to be angry at the way souless corporations are gobbling up the world's recources? All I'm saying is, I've come to terms with my mistakes, and I will pay for them. In the meantime, I am here, and I have a pretty unique view of what is going on, and I feel I have the right to talk about it. Since I can't really leave right now, my only other option at this point is to cave in and be evil. Since I can't really do that, I'll continue being hypocritical until the time comes, soon I think, when I can shake the dust of Iraq from my feet.
Please feel free to comment on this one, everybody, as I realize I must be sounding like a crazy person, and probably need to take a good slap upside the head.

I Hereby Dub Yah; President "Comical Criminal Half-Wit Jr."

I mean, duh. Seriously. Not to assist our culture in dumbing the language down or anything, but freaking duh. Spy Agencies Say Iraq War Worsens Terrorism Threat. Do they really? Wow. Ok see, a McDonald's manager or Walt Disney's CEO can be removed from their positions based on crappy performance, miscalculations, ineptitude, etc etc. Forget actual criminal behaviour for the moment. A McDonald's manager doesn't have to lie to his staff or steal from the till to make a poor decision about something which can result in his termination. I don't think that Michael Eisner was ever accused of illegal activity, but man he fell hard in the end. The funny thing is, at least when Mr. Eisner realized the tide was overwhelmingly against him, he had enough sense of dignity to step down himself, one year before his contract was up! Maybe he made that decision on his own, maybe it was forced on him; I don't really know. But what I do know is that not only is President "El Diablo" Bush and his administration a bunch of liars and crooks, warmongering half-wits and advocates of torture, but now they have been proven to be inept by this report assembled from research conducted by National Intelligence, and represents the consensus view of 16 different spy agencies in the US government! His war in Iraq has made Terrorism a bigger problem, a worse threat, than ever before! And this is the consensus view of all of the REAL experts in the field! I mean, any dope could see this as truth as clear as day, if they were paying attention for the last three years. But now it's backed up by hard fact, more irrefutable than the "intelligence" which brought us here in the first place, and it is time to act on it. It doesn't matter any more whether he lied, or covered stuff up... he started a war which has not only failed miserably in it's stated objective, but his major platform, his self-proclaimed raison d'être known as the so-called 'War on Terror', rather than being fought and won by him and Rummy and Cheney, is categorically being fueled by his retardation! And so we must fire him for making such a costly misjudgement. The morality of his actions can be pursued separately, but for the moment it's enough that we know enough to remove him from office based soley on Job Performance. Incidentally, does the administration's behaviour over the last several weeks remind anyone of Muhammad Saeed al-Sahhaf, who was given the silly nicknames of "Baghdad Bob" and "Comical Ali" when Saddam's regime was being bombed into the Sand Ages during the last invasion of Iraq? Bush is less composed and likeable, but the denial of everything going up in flames around him is quite similar. "Baghdad George". Dan Savage should start a campaign to have all Americans not only ITMFA, but to hereafter only refer to him as "Baghdad George". Or maybe George "al-Saha-ha-ha-Ha HAHAHAHA!-haf-wit" Bush.
Well, ok then. Sorry. Had to get that off my chest. Anyway, I'm sure Keith Olbermann will come out with a special comment quite soon which will really knock the issue out of the park.

Just Call Me The Stephen Glass Of Blogging, Already!

I am beginning to appreciate the necessity for rigorous fact-checking before beginning the process of cracking my hot air breathing embouchement. This will be the third apology I've had to make for blogging incorrectly, and it's a painful thing to have to do. At least I'm up front about being a narcissistic bloviating blogger, rather than a journalist. But still, it's important that I don't come off as someone who just makes crap up. I'll start with the easy one: The President of Iraq, who is a Kurd; His name is Jalal Talibani, not the improper compound Jalabi, which I mangled into being on my last post. At least on that one, I admitted in the first place that I wasn't sure of his name. But it would have been better to do a quick easy search, rather than to attempt to think it up on my own, always a dangerous game in my case. Actually, that one might be the more embarassing one precisely because it would have been so easy to look up. Although there may actually be someone named Jalabi involved in the Iraqi government; Maybe I should research that... nah. (Maybe I was thinking of Ahmed Chalabi? He's that guy that was wanted for some sort of bank fraud in Jordan, and escaped in the trunk of a car, only to later be made deputy Prime Minister of Iraq by that genius of geniuses and best friend to the crooked, President Bush)
The next one is more disappointing for me than embarassing. Apparently, I was not, in fact, anywhere near Halabcha on my trip to Kurdistan. Halabcha, actually spelled Halabjah on the map, where Saddam used chemical weapons on all those Kurds, was quite far from where we were. My tour guide was misinformed, apparently, as I discovered when I was looking at a map of the north-east corner of Iraq:

Halabjah is at the bottom right corner here, and Irbil (For which I don't apologize for spelling differently... I saw both it and Sulaymaniyah spelled 6 different ways while I was there, so I just picked the one that sounded right to me.) is far away on the opposite side of Sulaymaniyah, which we hadn't gone anywhere near at the time I thought we were in Halabjah. So I have no idea what town that is that I'm posing in front of in my Kurdistan photo gallery. I'll be sure to reflect that in the photo captions sooner or later. Grr.

Rather A Long One About My Exciting Trip To Kurdistan, or, Interesting Characters As Unlikely Bedfellows With Unusual Stories, or lastly, The Souk Of Sulaymania

So Kurdistan was nice! I actually got back yesterday morning, but I was pretty worn out. It was pretty uneventful all around, except for the whole aspect of flying from Baghdad to Kurdistan and travelling around with an Iraqi family and friends as an event. I left Interzone on Thursday morning to drive by myself on Route Irish to the Baghdad International Airport (BIAP)... Route Irish is not as dangerous as it once was, so it's not as crazy as it might have been in the past. There is a pretty solid presence of both American and Iraqi military all along the road and I haven't heard about any incidents in a long time. At any rate, even back in the more dangerous days of Route Irish, I never had any problems on it and I used to drive it much more frequently. My philosophy about safety in public in Baghdad has always been that the more blasé, the better. In my experience, the people who are targeted on that road are the ones driving like idiots in mini-PSD convoys... they will have three to five Suburban vehicles, and they hang out of the windows armed and armoured to the teeth. They weave back and forth in the lanes at high speeds and point their guns at anyone who gets too close. Flashing lights and obnoxious king-of-the-road attitudes accompany them, and they stand out as extremely tempting targets. They also make it very dangerous for other westerners on the road as they slow up traffic, and they don't care about you getting stuck in a jam, surrounded by Iraqi vehicles, who all of a sudden have plenty of time to give you a look-over. If you don't rate a personal convoy, you might as well be a possible insurgent. You know, like all Iraqis. Man I hate those guys. (PSDs, not Iraqis.) Anyway, this particular post isn't supposed to be about them; it's just so hard not to skewer them every time I get the chance! The other attractive targets on Route Irish are of course military convoys. While they are much less asinine than the civilian contract security monkeys, they still stand out quite a bit and halt traffic. So, getting back to the point; As I said, my philosophy about Route Irish has always been low-profile. I get in my white Nissan Sunny or white Peugeot, which are common vehicles in Baghdad, dress normally, and just go with the flow until I arrive safely at the Flying Man Statue, which marks the entrance to the checkpoint you go through to enter the secure (relatively) area known as BIAP, a large piece of land which includes several military bases in addition to the actual airport. It's always worked for me, and I almost never get a second look. When I got to the BIAP this time, I noticed that the old GBG signs are still standing...  I couldn't believe it. I thought for sure someone would have taken them down by now... I hadn't been to the BIAP since March, on my trip to Romania.
Anyway, I had received a sort of underhanded deal on my ticket... Iraqi Airways flies domestically to several cities, and normally you have to book 5 days in advance, although I'm not sure why. This being sort of a last minute trip, I didn't have 5 days. So S. called a friend who works at the airport, and he was able to secure me a flight to Erbil, but he had to use his name on the ticket. Obviously, he had a very Arabic name, and I certainly don't look like a Hassan Al-shamackalackawhatever, but I was supposed to meet him at the airport where he would check me in himself, avoiding embarrasing questions about my ethnicity. Well, he wasn't there, and his phone was turned off, so I was kind of screwed. Luckily I found a friendly airport worker who was apparently aware of Al-shamackalackawhatever's little scheme; so I handed him some baksheesh and he, in situ, got me all checked in. (Baksheesh, incidentally, can be translated several ways. Politely, it is a tip. Less politely, as a bribe or grease money. It is, however the connotation, viewed as the norm in Iraqi society for getting people to do the jobs that they are already paid to do. In a hospital, for instance, the  nurses will hound you for baksheesh, and if you don't pay, they won't do anything for you, such as sticking an IV in your arm, or putting you in a room to see a doctor.)
The flight was only about 45 minutes, and S. and a family friend, Sa., also one of my employees, met me at the Erbil (air-beel) airport, having driven to Kurdistan already from Baghdad a few days before. We then drove for about an hour and 1/2, arriving at mid-evening in a small Iraqi tourist town called Shaqalawa where they had been staying in a rented summer house. We went into town and looked at the shops on the street and had some Iraqi Chai (tea) at a restaraunt. There were nine of us all together: S. & R., (those two brothers I've written about before) their mother I., their cousins H. (mmm briani!) and her sister L., another cousin E., and two friends (and my employees) Sa. and A. And of course myself. I wish I could tell you their names, it would make telling the story much easier. But you know, I'm paranoid about doing that.
The next morning we woke and ate some Iraqi concoction of eggs, beef, and bread for breakfast which was actually quite good. A. had said he wanted to make it, so they went to the shop that morning and bought the necessary ingredients, but when they got back to the house he got lazy and there was a fun little family fight about making him get up and make good on his plan... they wound up dragging him to the kitchen. I'm not sure how they actually got him to do it... perhaps R. also grabbed his wrists and had to puppeteer him all the way. At any rate it all came out ok in the end.
We then piled into the two cars they'd driven from Baghdad and went on a driving tour through the Kurdistan mountains to a spring of water that came out of the side of one of the hills. I found out later that they'd done exactly the same drive the day before, but they wanted me to see it because it was such a high point of that part of Kurdistan. Iraqis can be embarassingly hospitable that way sometimes... I felt really bad that they were wasting a day of their trip for me on something they'd already done, but they don't really know the rules of Hypertrekking and anyway they didn't really consider it a waste, being endlessly pleased to show me "The good stuff". Anyway it was worth seeing in two respects: a) it was pretty and b) it's amazing and funny to see how a medium-ish sized waterfall becomes such a huge tourist attraction in this part of the world. The drive itself was also quite pretty; Trees and mountains with winding roads, as anticipated. We drove by a town named Halabcha; it's infamous for being the town where Saddam and Chemical Ali used the chemical weapons which killed many Kurds all those years ago. We didn't go through it, as I understand there isn't much to see, and anyway that's hardly a fitting destination for an Iraqi family on holiday. But they did stop so I could get out and get a picture or two from the main road.
That afternoon we returned to the house and packed everything up for what turned out to be the four hour drive to the city of Sulaymania (sooh-lay-mah-knee-ah). We arrived, and spent another hour looking for a place to stay. There was a serviceable hotel on the main street where we stopped finally, and some of the staff turned out to be Iranian... awkward but interesting. The one guy, as I was checking in, saw my passport and asked, "American?" I said yes and he pointed at himself and said, "Iranian". I took his hand and said, "Pleased to meet ya, Mr. Iranian!" When it was translated for him, he laughed and said (in Arabic) that it was probably the first time in recent history that an American and an Iranian shook hands on friendly terms! Of course I know that can't be entirely true; the Middle East is full of interesting characters and unlikely bedfellows with unusual stories, but it was a tensely amusing moment, nonetheless.
The next day we spent walking around the souk of Sulaymania. A souk (sōōk) is a veritable warren of a street market made up of hundreds of individual kiosks, selling all kinds of wonderful crap. The girls went crazy over the shopping opportunities which are currently unavailable to them in Baghdad. The boys stood around waiting for the girls to finish one kiosk only to stop again five feet away at the next, all the while ogling all the beautiful Sulaymania babes walking about, unafraid of exposing their hair, or wearing tight jeans and loose-fitting blouses, another rarity in present-day Baghdad. And I tried a street vendor delicacy known as Iraqi water gum. It's essentially unflavored gum with odd flavoured water in the center of it, and it tastes like chewy wet tree bark. I didn't try it for very long, actually.
I called Dave and George, as promised, but it turns out that they are working in a fairly secure location, and the Station Chief told them he wouldn't authorize a non-essential person access to their camp; It turns out they're not allowed off of their compound, and surprisingly have never seen the city of Sulaymania, even though their camp is within it. In fact, I apparently caused the camp personnel some consternation as they had never been faced with that situation before: "A friend. From Baghdad. Flew up here. And is travelling around with a group of Iraqis. And wants to visit you here in our high security compound. Ummmm... Let me get back to you on that. - No." So that was that... I talked with them on the phone for a few minutes, but disappointingly did not get to hang out. Which is stupid and ironic because supposedly they escort uncleared Iraqi day laborers onto their compound, well, every day, in much the same fashion that people hire Mexicans for day labor in the back of pick-up trucks out west. But I, a cleared American with a DoD badge, am a security threat. Huh. I even used to work for the same company and client! For fourteen months! I'm telling you, all these military, contractors, and secret service types over here are far more paranoid, delusional and muddle-headed than intelligent or organized. At least that's how they generally come off.
Anyway, later that afternoon we went to the Iraqi Airways office so I could change my return ticket, as I'd have to fly out of Sulaymania the next morning rather than Erbil. It turns out that tickets to Baghdad only cost around $75, so H., L., and A., also purchased tickets as they wanted to get back home, and had never been on an airplane before! I guess once they realized how easy it was, and the fact that I was going anyway, made it a no-brainer for them. The eight hour drive between Baghdad and Kurdistan is, I imagine, endless.
That night we went to this amusement park they have there. It was rather like a small-town carnival that showed up in some way-off-the-track borough 20 years ago and never quite got the energy to pack up and move on again, but it was nice. We went on a ride; one of those swinging ship things... more like a 20-year old prototype perhaps, of what you might see at Oktoberfest today. We sat at a lawn restaraunt and had a beer and a nargila (water pipe) with apple tobacco, which I don't count as a lapse in my having quit smoking because it's very different and, for me, is a rare special occasion, anyway. It never makes me want a cigarette, and it tastes like apples. Mmm, apples.
The next morning the four of us that were flying woke at 5am and caught a ride with Sa. to the airport, where there were 3 separate security checks and at each one they completely emptied the contents of my bag, carefully sniffing my deodorant, peering suspiciously into my vitamin bottles, and prodding superstitiously at my camera. THREE times! The Iraqis didn't generally seem to get nearly as much scrutiny... that was certainly a new experience for me, being the suspicious character in the airport because of my race. I guess they don't often see westerners in them there parts. It felt karmically correct though, so I accepted it good-naturedly, anyway having little choice in the matter. We boarded without any incident, and my friends had a lovely time on their first flight. H.'s young sister, L., was delightfully terrified and enthralled by the window seat, not to mention the goosey feeling of the ascent and descent.
So that's my trip to Kurdistan... S. and his family continued on to the cities of Dahouk & Zakho that day, where their family had originally come from. I'd like to have gone with them, but I needed to get back... even though nothing much is going on, I would hate to not be around in case something does happen. We're still waiting to hear from the JASG, or the Iraqi Ministry, or ANYBODY, as to what our fate is to be...
I've loaded my pictures from Kurdistan onto my smugmug site... unfortunately there wasn't a whole lot to photograph, and many of my pictures had my Iraqi friends in them, which I won't load for the same paranoid reasons I won't give their names, so this gallery will be a small one. Click on this picture of the flag of Kurdistan to go see them.
An interesting final note, on the flag of Kurdistan: One of the high muckity mucks in the Iraqi government is a Kurd (Jalabi, I think; we drove by his hometown in Kurdistan on the way to Sulaymania), and he is causing trouble in the Iraqi Ministry because he wants the Iraqi State of Kurdistan to retain it's own flag, them being such an independently-minded people who are, after all, very different from southern Iraqis. The current Iraqi Prime Minister, Al-Maliki, wants all of Iraq to share the same standard Iraqi flag, eschewing the more local flags which, he thinks, only help to further divide the newly formed Iraqi Republic. Dude, if flags were the major impediment, or even one of the top one-hundred roadblocks to a unified Iraq, I'd sympathize more. But he's got way more serious problems than that, and besides, the Kurdi flag is pretty, don't you think? Iraq needs more pretty.

Good Day, And Good Luck. To Me.

Hooo weee! Keith Olbermann is this month's Stephen Colbert, this decade's Edward R. Murrow. Of course that's easy to say, and it's been said a lot. As a matter of fact, Mr. Olbermann even paraphrases Mr. Murrow's tagline from time to time. But it's justified... read his most recent awesome comment. There's even a link there where you can download the video segment. (Thanks, GoDrex!) ITMFA!!
So, I am going up North! If I don't post for a few days, don't worry. If I don't post after a week goes by, panic.

Everything Is Better, In El Norte

So it's that time of year again; the temperature is dropping, and people are starting to get the sniffles. I myself have started wearing my knit cap to bed at night to keep from waking up with a head cold. After a long summer with temperatures ranging from 115° - 120°, the last week or so has seen the range drop to 100° - 110°! And now, of course, you think I'm exaggerating about the sniffles and the knit cap, but I'm absolutely not. It's strange, but in a weird way you get so accustomed to those high temperatures that a small drop like that really can affect you. At least I do... the Iraqis actually think it's really funny that I wear that cap at night. In a month or so, when I pull out my black wool sweater, they're really going to give it to me, like every year. I seem to be particulary sensitive to the temperature drop here... I get a pretty severe cold in October or November every year, when the temp gets down to the 70's... But the funny thing is, when I've left the country for certain vacations, like my first one to Germany for Krampus, or when I went to South Africa in the fall (or was it spring there? It's below the equator) when it was quite chilly, I adjusted just fine.
Anyway, I really like this time of year here, except for the flies. The flies are dormant all summer, and they start waking up to continue their mission of annoyance around this time. Other than that, though... in the evenings it's comfortable enough to sit outside on the deck and it's actually quite pleasant. And during the days, you don't feel like a baked potato, which is enough to really put that spring back in your step.
I'm thinking of taking a 3 day vacation up to the north of Iraq this weekend. S. and his family just left this morning to drive up there for a week's vacation, and I might catch a plane in a couple of days to join them. Kurdistan is relatively safe, and they have cooler weather, mountains and even trees! Well, they have trees in Baghdad, lots of them actually, but only date palms. Which are nice, but I miss pine trees and stuff. It would also be nice to go see a calmer part of Iraq, one where I can walk around and maybe see some sights in. Plus, Dave Yurick and George Martin work up there, so I might get to pop in on them. Dave is one of the original gang of four of us that came to Baghdad together from Chiemsee in August '03, and George is another friend from Chiemsee who showed up several months later. They transferred up there for their company last year some time... I'm actually really envious of them because of all the nice stuff I just said about the north of Iraq. It'll be good to see them and find out how good they actually have it! Naturally, I'll keep you posted.

In Which I Skirt The Issue Of What Today Is The Anniversary Of

So some of you may have noticed that my posts seem to be deteriorating into ranty madness, lately. Well, I didn't really notice it myself until just this morning, and I'd like to continue ignoring that fact, because I'm not sure I'm really ready to confront the state of my mental balance just now. I mean, I knew, but I didn't see it as a downward spiralling pattern until today. I blame my inactive, caravan-dwelling lifestyle. It's been well over six months since I left the 600 man camp to come here and... subsist. Remember way back not long after I first came to the GBG camp when I said that there was a guy who was locked in his room as an experiment with no windows or clocks, and was given irregular meal times so that he wouldn't have any idea what was going on outside of his room? And how when the experiment was finished he came out all twitchy and wore two watches on each wrist for the rest of his life? Yeah... gettin' there. I also blame Dave Eggers and Mara Leveritt. I blame Mara because of that book I just finished reading... you know the one. Don't get me started on that crazy injustice again. I'm not really being toungue-in-cheek about that... Likely I'll be very angry about the ignorant West Memphis legal hicks for the rest of my life. They make an excellent focal point for impotent, outraged righteous wrath. Moving on; I blame Dave because right before 'Devil's Knot', I'd read 'A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius' by him, and he's got a loopy, self-conscious writing style which of course, combined with West Mephis Wrath, put me in the right frame of mind for loopy, self-conscious rants. So, I'm stepping out of it for just this minute in order to ask you not to tell the crazy person that he's trying to lick his elbow. Don't let on that you know he's out of control, it may only encourage him. And, whatever you do, don't stare him directly in the eyes... that can really backfire on you.
So, I was in the PX yesterday, and they were playing 'United 93' on the display TVs. The scene where the highjackers went from quiet passengers to taking over the plane came on, and everybody in the store, soldiers, contractors, cashiers, Iraqis; they all just kind of stopped what they were doing and watched with the fascinated revulsion that we all are familiar with when re-experiencing those events. It was weird.

Prisoners Imprisoned By Misunderestimation

Well, I finished my book, and after much feeling of impotent anger at Gitchell and Judge Burnette, I've decided to make a contribution to wm3.org's defence fund for the falsely accused. Now perhaps I can get on with my life and learn to love and laugh again. Because about every 2 seconds of reading in that book, I got up and shook my fist in rage at heaven. After the first 3 or 400 times I did this, I kind of settled into the position where one hand was holding the book open in two places; where the main storyline was and a pinkie hooked around into the endnotes section, and my other hand keeping up with the fist in rage at heaven shaking. It made drinking my coffee difficult at points, but sometimes I was able to channel it into furiously taking a sip 'o joe at heaven in rage.
According to this post, a movement is taking place among members of the Arab Nations which is not being reported in Western media, and that is that they are attempting to pressure the U.S. into re-instating Saddam's regime to control of the Iraqi government, in light of a US Senate report that says that Saddam had no links to al-Qaeda. Which of course we all knew. But it doesn't matter... someone must have introduced these guys to crack if they think that's ever going to happen. Not that they don't have a point... Saddam probably is the only one at this juncture that could end this mess over here, but just because we entered this war completely illegally to depose him and have royally f***ed this place up doesn't make him into a really nice guy who should be put back into a position where he can be a mad mad dictator again. But the concern is valid; This country needs someone as strong and ruthless as he was, an Iraqi, not a white guy or an Uncle Tom, to slap these crazy fundies down and put a stop to death squads, insurgents, (who, technically, wouldn't actually be insurgents any more) Iranian troublemakers, and whatever other mad freaks are stirring up the pot. Most Iraqis have been saying this for a long time now. The Iraqis that I know personally, who were originally very happy that Saddam was taken out, and sang and danced when they found him in that hole, now say that they would prefer it if he was still in charge. But that is actually old news. Now, most Iraqis just dream about leaving Iraq. Me too.

Um. I Get A Little Unbalanced In This One. Sorry. I Think I've Revealed Too Much, Maybe.

That's it, we're dead. Bush won't be happy until he breaks every law and rule against ethics, morality, and reason. Run for your lives, the sky is falling! I don't know anymore what is propaganda, what is real, what is paranoid, or what is purposefully intended to scare us. All I know is, whatever they're trying to do to me, it's probably working. Iwlwpmbhjsd... excuse me, that was me wiping the blood off of my keyboard. The blood that's been dripping from my mouth ever since I started looking for little Men In Black installing satellite receivers in my teeth last night. Which is weird because teeth don't bleed, they're like bone or something. Maybe I got a few of the little buggers without noticing, and they're bleeding.
Ok, enough crazy talk, Mike. You're upsetting the children. Sure boss no problem.
Anyway, I've been reading 'The Devil's Knot' by Mara Leveritt. Which is another reason I'm in this weird mood, probably. If righteous rage were a valid legal defence for killing people, this guy Gitchell would also go down, man. I'd seen the documentaries 'Paradise Lost' 1 & 2 before, which are horrific enough, but one of the things you always hear the police say is that the movies show a one-sided opinion of the case, and that if you look at the facts, there's more to it. Well, that's what Mara did, and it actually makes the law enforcement look worse than even the film makers could have. She's a journalist, and went into the case cold, with no emotional attachments either way. She then reports more exhaustively on the actual police reports and court transcripts than the movies had time for. It doesn't look good, man. It actually looks exactly like a book on the Salem Witch Trials I read a long time ago.
On a side note, yet not entirely unrelated, something about the Superman franchise really bothers me. I mean, this guy is about the closest thing to a God that pop culture has. Why is he always flying around saving cats from trees and people from the same arch villian over and over again? I mean, he's a reasonably intelligent guy. And he has an exquisite moral belief system. I think that, if he were a real thing (which I know that he is not) he would be in Iraq, defending the helpless. Or in Darfur. Or Lebanon. Fat white rich America would probably get about a nanosecond of his time... I say this because if I was him, that's about what I'd be thinking. Not that there aren't people in America that need saving, but people in poorer, more dangerous parts of the world need it vastly more. Actually, in the deepest recesses of my wrathful little black heart, I rather believe he'd be spending alot of his time conquering armies involved in immoral actions. Al Qaeda, Those African Junta thingies you always hear about, the Bush administration. Had I his power, the rich, soulless powerful would be trembling in their boots. I'd be Castle Stomping their secret germ-warfare laboratories. I'd tear up secret CIA prisons. I'd show 'em what wire tapping really meant. And I'd have a sweet ass jacuzzi with Lois Lane waiting in it for me every day after work. I mean, I wouldn't really be made of steel, just righteous wrath and skin tights that I would take off every once in a while. Isn't that enough?
Well, it certainly is enough of my infantile fantasy. I just think that that would make a better Superman story than the usual fare. I mean, are our Gods not there to dispense justice to the evil? It's not hard to find where the real evil is, these days.

P.S. I don't actually advocate the killing of anyone, even Gitchell. It's a purile vengeance fantasy, is all. Just wanted to clear that up, in case I had my family worried.

In Which I Natter On About Things I Have Only A Passing Knowledge Of, And Even Coin A New Word!

Hooray! Finally, an in-depth article about corruption in Iraq that doesn't mention my company or the owner. It's titled 'The Ten Most Brazen War Profiteers', and we didn't make the list! I don't know whether to be relieved or feel slighted. Anyway, it's a really good article. I really like the bit about the company Custer Battles, because I've been laughing at their name since my first year in Iraq; They used to do security for the Baghdad International Airport, and there it was, lettered on all of their trucks proudly, Custer Battles. Didn't they get it? Didn't they realize that that was like, the worst name in the world for a security company in Baghdad to have? Haven't we dared God to do his worst enough already? I mean, I know that the two founders of the companies' family names are one Custer and one Battles, but still. Change the name. Or make one up. Be creative, not a southern idiot.
But it's all very informative. Apparently Stuart Bowen of SIGIR has in fact fried bigger fish than my old boss, so I have to eat crow again for that thing I said a few posts back. See, this is why I should stick to Space and funny cultural differences and anecdotes. I have no head for the titanic amount of information spilling out all over the internet about the big Bushoglio over here. That's right, I'm coining it. A Bushoglio is an imbroglio, a crisis, a pandemonius riot, an unholy mess of such titanic proportions that it's like has not been seen in the known history of man, nor has there ever been a word created previously which can hope to describe how chaotic that man has made this place. It is a whirlwind which has made a storm that is growing big enough to gobble the world. If you don't think it's really that bad, read this post and then be so calm about it. I can't, of course, vouch for the total veracity of it, but alot of what is talked about there is stuff I've been hearing about for a long time.
And how about those secret CIA prisons, huh? Bush is all like "What? Yeah we got 'em. No big deal. We gotta screw some people outta their human rights to save them for real people like us, God told me so." Yikes. There have of course been rumours of those things for years... it's actually somewhat of an Interzone worst-kept secret. But damn. I shudder to think what things like that mean for the future of us.

Go Get A Cup Of Coffee, As This One Covers Alot Of Ground, Some Of Which Is Of The Same 'Ol, Same 'Ol Variety, & Some Of Which Is New

Clear your web browser's cache! I tweaked my page banner, and you won't get to gasp in awe at it unless you do so. Unless you're brand new here; Hello! I guess that it's not really all that different than what was already there, but I like it better. I couldn't find a font that had a wing ding of a galaxy, of which some are Messier Objects. So instead I settled for one with a little orbiting action, which is not a Messier Object but it's spacey so I still like it. I will keep looking for a  proper wing ding. Anyway, like you really care. Hey, look over here! It's a picture of all the cataloged Messier Objects:

Pretty.

Anyway, I figure that it's about time for an update on my political situation. So prepare to be dazzled by the mundanity of it all. Or stop reading. This is more for me, anyway... Things tend to make more sense to me after I've written them down.
So, we left off in our story way back at the end of July, with me and my 20 Iraqi employees sitting around the camp waiting to find out if we were going to get Castle Stomped or if we could successfully thumb our noses at them. There was a little back-and-forth between us and the JASG for a while there... they accused us of stalling, to which we replied 'Well of course we are, that's what we've been saying all along! We want to not get kicked out right now so we can get a sublease on the property with the Iraqi Government! Duh.' To which they rejoinded 'Bah! We're tired of waiting on such legalities. Get out!' And we waited a week before saying '...ummm, no.' And our lawyer proceeded to list a bunch of reasons why we didn't think they had any authority over us, using sneaky little tricks such as citing International, Iraqi, and US laws. That was almost two weeks ago and we've yet to hear anything back from them. So does this mean we have won? Well, here's where it gets complicated.
See, the thing is, even if they are defeated and are not planning some heinous sneak retaliation, as much as we want these pesky pretenders off of our backs about evicting ourselves and our property, we don't actually want them to entirely wash their hands of us just yet. The problem is, that if they sign over our property to the Iraqi government before we have that elusive lease / sublease agreement signed and sealed, there are factions in the Iraqi Ministry who would love the opportunity to come in here and kick us out, and confiscate all of GBG's property! Our property consisting of the 50 or so trailers we sleep in, our dining facility and offices, and a large warehouse, among other sundries. They would consider this repayment for the crimes to which our hapless leader pled guilty... having bribed CPA officials to get contracts to rebuild portions of Iraqi infrastructure and then doing a crappy job, where there was any work done at all. (The JASG is a direct descendant, by the way, of the CPA, in regards to certain authorities which the CPA had assumed in the Wild East of 2003-2004, legally or not.) In light of the fact that he did plead guilty, it would seem that they do have a point. But it is not my place to decide such matters, sadly.
So it would seem that, as usual, I find myself in a moral grey area between the big stupid rock and a...nother big stupid rock.
Meanwhile, (Saying 'meanwhile' in a grand voice like the narrator from the old '70s early '80s Justice League cartoons has become one of our favorite jokes around here, lately. Say it! MEANWHILE!) here is what I have been doing to get by:
Selling GBG property! Oh, not any of the big stuff... that would get the owner in even more trouble, as all of his assets are frozen. No, I have to get permission through our lawyer from the Dept. of Justice to sell anything more substantial than building material, such as actual buildings or vehicles, and so far I have received no such permission. Thankfully, there is plenty of useless (to us) material around which I've been able to pawn for enough cash to continue paying the Iraqis, purchasing gasoline for our generators and vehicles, food, and miscellaneous other life-supporting items. It's been kind of fun, actually. I've discovered alot about myself in the process. Such as the fact that I am a lousy, miserable business man who doesn't know jack about what things are worth. In retrospect, I could probably have gotten more money for alot of the stuff I've sold if I knew what I was doing. But hey, I'm the only one here and I do what I can. If the company gets mad later, well, they should've been here themselves. I think that after selling what I can legally sell, I have enough cash to last us another 2 or 3 months, if we're thrifty. After that... Well, I just hope we have some issues solved by then, is all I'm saying.
On a side note: While writing this, something happened that made me realize I am way too jaded with Baghdad and should really leave. I heard a rocket launch, which is actually really loud and can be heard from several kilometers off, and is often mistaken for the actual explosion until you learn to tell the difference. Instead of freaking out, which you stop doing after the 5th one you've been around in your life, I just started typing faster because without really thinking about how stupid a thought it was, I wanted to finish this entry in case the rocket hit nearby and blew out my computer or killed me or something. This is not an unusual reaction, of course. I could tell alot of stories like that. Several weeks ago, Steve Steltzer and Darren Adams (Some Chiemseers who are also STILL here!) came over from their little happy compound for a night of movies and beer, and while someone was telling a story, Darren I think, a rocket hit nearby, shaking our caravans. We all kind of stopped for a second, to let the noise die down, and then Darren continued his story. About a minute later all five of us (Scott and Jeff were there, also) realized what had just happened and that not one of us had really reacted. We laughed about it and then quickly forgot the incident.
This is not a story meant to imply that we are cool, stone in the face of danger. No, what it really means is that we have become too complacent and are stupid. Stupid stupid stupid. Getting used to explosions should not be the same as getting used to the noises of New York City outside your bedroom window. But kind of it is.

A Little Nonsense Now And Then Is Cherished By The Wisest Men

I had a good chuckle at myself this morning as I was remembering the time when I was still in Chiemsee, getting ready to leave to come to Baghdad and was trying to figure out what to bring. Someone had read online somewhere that when deploying to Iraq you must have some kind of goggles for the desert to keep the sand out of your eyes, and that ski goggles were useful in this capacity, and I was panicking because I had already gotten rid of all of my snowboarding gear. I was thinking that I was screwed because it was August and I was going to have trouble finding any... Anyway, here I am three years later and I have not once found it necessary to wear goggles. Especially as what I did can not rightly be called "deploying"... more like jaunting off to the big middle eastern city. But it is a fondly recollected preconceived notion, which I was able to bid farewell to a long time ago. I've actually got alot of those.
Anyway, here is a picture I took the other day down at GBG's batch plant site of Saddam's old personal Helicopter. It was a pretty sweet ride back in the day; It has leather seats and what looks like it used to be a mini bar inside, but it's best days are definitely passed. That's the Tigris River and Red Zone Baghdad in the background.

I Am The Glitter In The Glue. Koo Koo Katchoo.

Last week they confirmed the existence of Dark Matter! So it is official: You and I and everything that is made of ordinary matter are the glitter in the glue that binds the universe together. Without Dark Matter, which comprises about %25 of the total energy of the universe, our Galaxies, suns and planets would never have been able to congeal long enough to cool down and allow worms, religious fundamentalists, and humans to exist. Ordinary matter, which fundies need in order to bash their beliefs into other people's brains, comprises only about %5 of the total energy of the universe. In other words, you need the extra gravity which Dark Matter provides in order to keep the matter with which we are more familiar orbiting itself, from galaxies in a super-cluster (though I'm not sure that what they are actually doing can be called orbiting... they are condensed into superstructure filaments, however), suns orbiting the galactic center in a whirlpool spiral, to our 4 inner rocky, 4 gas, and 3 dwarf planets orbiting Sol. Previously, there were scientists who tried to explain the fact that matter wasn't flying about all willy-nilly in the universe by questioning their current understanding of gravity, and getting all crazy and trying to prove that gravity was a different animal on larger cosmic scales than it is here in the tiny now. Well, that's done with, for the moment. Of course, there is still that pesky other %70 of the energy of the universe out there milling about all unlabelled... It's been catalogued as Dark Energy at the moment, but they still have to find some direct evidence of it. Maybe when they find some, they could call it 'The Force'. That would be sweet.
Yeah, I know. I seem to be getting a bit off topic, lately. After all, all I really know about real science is what Carl Sagan taught me. You know, the popular stuff. I've been sitting here for months, feeling pretty accomplished because I was stupid enough to spend three years of my life somewhere I don't belong and making local friends and broadening my horizons, and shrinking the world around me. But when I wind up on a real science blog, and then start following links around and find this whole ring of them, it makes me feel lost in a big universe again and now I want to go back to school and learn what they know so that I can really understand what's going on around me. I've actually been wanting to write about Dark Matter all week, but couldn't figure out a way to make it fit in with the rest of the posts on my playground. Finally, I realized that Dark Matter concerns us all, and I need no excuse to go all rapturous on it.
So okay, what is Dark Matter? Well, it's not just gas and rocks that don't reflect light, and it's not a soul-sucking gob of energy like a Black Hole... it's not even quite the same as Anti-Matter, apparently. It's just kind of there, and somewhat out of phase with our matter. They proved it's existence simply by observing the aftermath of colliding Galaxy clusters... the Dark Matter acted rather like the Queen of England... gliding unaffected and unseeing through the cacophony of the masses of common matter with a fake smile and little wave, yet all eyes watch her depart. If you were watching this scene from two thousand feet above, you would know she was there by watching the masses move around her, not by being able to actually see her.
Of course, none of this yet explains what Dark Matter is... That's because they still haven't reached up and grabbed any so far. It's been observed indirectly, and they've proven it's effect on matter, which is gravitational only, but they haven't got a handful of it yet. So the poets and the fundies are still free to dream, theorize, and demonize, but science marches on! The world is round, my friends, and we are of it, not the rightful masters of it. We are not at the center of anything, except ourselves, and the more we understand about nature, the more mankind's preconceived notions shrink into the background cosmic noise.

A Long Overdue Tea Kettle Whistle

Well, Rumsfeld is right about one thing; I am certainly morally and intellectually confused. Just not about him or the administration. About them, I am certain. They SUCK. Read Keith Olbermann's post responding to Rummy's blatant self-serving bile. Anyway, I'd like to ask him exactly what does he think people are confused about? The great job FEMA did on Katrina? How splendidly the war in Iraq is going, and how we found those WMD under Saddam's shoe in that dirty hole in the ground? (You'd think that if Saddam was such a grand, evil threat to world security, he'd have had a more blinged out secret bunker than that! You know, like Hitler's or Cheney's) Also, on a more personal note, I've read a lot about how SIGIR is hard at work fighting corruption in Iraq, proving that the US is on top of it... I'd like to know why my former employer is the biggest fish they fried?! Really, he defrauded the US Gov and the Iraqi people of $8 million?! Wow! Yeah, that's bad and all, but I think what they don't want people to realize is that over here, $8 million is like a short weekend's bribing money for companies like KBR and Bechtel. But those are large corporations and can afford to tie things up for years and even if wrongdoing is determined, no single person will be held responsible. I think that back when Phil was arrested last November, the director of SIGIR, Stuart Bowen, said something like "Boo Yah! We're gonna get 'em, this is just the first of MANY! Them crooks oughtta start shakin' in their boots now!" ... In going over their site, it looks like they've got two or three other guys even more small-time than Phil was, still leaving billions of dollars of suspect destination unaccounted for. So, the lesson seems to be, if you're not a big enough crook to hide behind a US Government crony with power, watch out!
How does it go? A whole buncha sound and fury signifying nothing? Yeah, that's what.
Alright, I'm done. There are much more well-informed sites out there about this whole imbroglio, I'm sure. I'm just a morally confused putz in the wrong place at the wrong time, anyway.