No Witty Title This Time. If I Am Still In Baghdad Tomorrow Night, I'm Killing Something, And Singing 'Happy Birthday To Me.'

So, this time, it really could possibly be my last post from Baghdad. No, really, it seriously could be. In fact I'm almost %90 sure that it is. My last post, I mean, from here. If it's not, more sensitive readers may wish to avoid this site for a few days, as the only reason it is not my last post from Iraq is that I missed the plane again, and any further posts from Baghdad are likely to be laced with extremely angry, profane, shocking, and inexcusable language, which I suspect could burn the eyes right out of your sockets. You have been duly forewarned.
So this is a hell of a way to spend my 34th... yes yes please comment on how much you wish me a happy birthday. Please? Seriously, everybody who reads this has to pay the price of admission by saying happy birthday in the comments of this one, and be creative. Don't just say 'Happy Birthday'. Say instead, 'Have a Happy Birthday while you're stuck in Baghdad, sucka!' And so forth. Since my birthday will consist of just sitting by myself on a couch and reading junk on the internet, as I have all week, with a pit of nervousness about getting the hell away from here tomorrow, I could really use the encouragement. If you're reading this one for the first time a week or a month or a year from now, and you've totally missed my birthday, it's not too late. You may still say happy birthday to me, and I will credit you retro-actively. You're welcome.
I wish that I had something to write about Baghdad, here in my last post while I'm here. Something insightful, or stupid, or whatever. But I've been holed up in an Army happy camp all week, and have had little contact with any of the things which keep me in touch with what's going on in the Interzone, or with my Iraqi friends. I do know that Karrada street is still on lockdown, almost one week after that soldier went missing. Which makes me wonder if he was really what the lockdown was all about in the first place. I've heard rumours that they are going to keep that part of the city under wraps for a full month... weird. Anyway, I already tried to do a final post from Baghdad last Monday night, about the emotions I was feeling on the verge of leaving forever, and look where that got me. So that will have to serve, and this past week will have to be classified as filler. Just killing time, and amusing myself. See you in Turkey! Or else...!!!!

Comments

[TF]

Eid meelad sa'eed!

[Dad]

Hey!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BAHGDAD MIKE!!!! You sure know how to celebrate a thing, ahy! Guess you won't be having one of those famous halloween parties that were so popular in your youth... but then it sounds like Bahgdad is just one big costume party anyway. May your beard grow long and the hair on your toes curl....

[hooligan]

I don't know if this counts as encouragement, but it's got to count as something:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbK1eCt97ag

Anyway, consider yourself fated. Wait, no. I mean, fetid. NO! Dang! What is it...? Oh, yeah: feted. You are now officially feted. So... Shazam! *Glitter confetti, mirror ball, noise-makers, cone hat, pixie dust* Poof! Kapow!

[messiestobjects]

Ok, only TF and my Dad helped me out, and apparently my Dad is a dork. Well I guess everybody's Dad is. But everybody else totally didn't get it. I got a bunch of emails, but the whole idea was to have nice little happy birthday posts on my PUBLIC page so that everybody could see how many friends I had and therefore how cool I was. So that little thing failed miserably. Either everybody sucks, or I'm just not very cool at all... I think it's easier for me to go with option #1! But thanks for the emails anyway... they were very nice, all 200 of them from my 200 friends that I swear I have, it's just that they live in Canada, so, you know...

[hooligan]

Well, pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbttttttt. I'm taking my mirror ball and going home! Birthday Nazi. BTW, did you totally edit your Dad's comment? Because I could have sworn it said *embarassing nickname which is NEVER to be used again deleted* yesterday. And also something like Hap-ap-ap-grandpappy. Don't censor your Pops! No. Rather, give props to your Pops.

[Ken]

Happy Birthday to You,
You Belong in the Zoo!
You could use the vacation,
And the culture-shock too!

Just don't feed the monkeys, they're busy last-minute campaigning.

[Uncle John]

Well, Happy Birthday there Mike!!

I found this site:

http://www.shabbir.com/romance/bday.html

and I thought perhaps peoples of the world may be able to reference it while wishing you a hyper-trecking birthday.

Please, please, please be careful on the beaches of the Indian Ocean, especially in Thailand. You know how incredibly dangerous they can be around Christmas time.

Suk San Wan Keut!