Someday, You'll Be Able To Pull The Green Zone's Finger On Smell TV

The wait is over! Smell-o-vision is here at last! I can't wait to get one. The sad truth is, of course, that no matter how noble the ideals behind wanting to make audio/visual and nasal sensations into a collaborative "learning" tool, much like what they said about TV in the first place back in the day, I guarantee that when I pick up my first Stinky Set at Smell-o-Visions R Us, the first thing I'll be sniffing is a commercial for McDonalds. You think advertising is pervasive now? Just wait until you are subjected to ads for awesome fatty foods with smellomercials! You'll be able to taste the greasy goodness all day long, and won't be able to rest until you buy what they're smelling you. Plus, those geeks in high school are going to have to change all of their door plates to say AVN Club! At least the media can finally give a positive spin to the meaning of Snuff Films. The world is changing too fast for me... I was just getting used to this whole internet fad, and now this. Minority Report didn't predict the half of it. But seriously, the day I walk down the street, and billboards are doing retina scans on passers-by to determine how to tailor their ads based on their personal consumer profiles, and I then have to not only be subjected to a bright, noisy, obnoxious ad for a quarter pounder with cheese, but also have a squirt of burger perfume micturated in my nasal direction, I'm stabbing myself in the brain with a coffee spoon.
Well, I'm getting off-topic, I know. I should be sticking to writing about life working for a corrupt company in the Interzone. Incidentally, I looked up International Zone on Wikipedia, only to discover that, even though it officially had it's nomenclature changed to International Zone in 2004, due to the stubbornness of people and their cliquey lingo it is slowly being reverted to Green Zone. Which makes me feel like we've missed a great opportunity... I always call it the Interzone, a portmanteau coined by William Burroughs in his novel 'Naked Lunch'. Interzone was his drug-induced alternate universe version of Tangiers, Morocco, which was in fact an International Zone at the time. Interzone describes the madness and paranoia of this place infinitely better than dumb 'ol Green Zone does. A different kind of paranoia, to be sure, but paranoia nonetheless. Ah well, I will continue in calling it Interzone, though I be shut from "Green Zone" high society for my crime.
I don't have much news, unfortunately, about the closedown of my camp. It's taking a depressingly long amount of time to get moving, and we only have about 12 days left! Plus, while we have begun this sort of low-level disconnecting of the caravans from their foundations, (unhooking power and water lines, loosening the bolts, etc. etc.) the guys back in the States are still trying to appeal our eviction... It's really very upsetting. I am bored all to hell with this whole thing and am really counting on getting my ass tossed out of this place on the 26th. If they actually manage to stave off the inevitable, I'm going to scream. It doesn't matter; I'm still leaving, it's just that getting evicted will be a nice clean break and I don't have to feel bad about abandoned responsibilities, whereas this slow process of GBG having a death grip on the pathetic life they have left is really eating away at my soul, such as it is.

Comments

[hooligan]

Yeah. You gots to stay away from de Wikipedia.

[messiestobjects]

Why? Wikipedia makes me look all, you know, smart and junk. I would never have come up with Brassica Oleracea on my own! I think Wikipedia may turn out to be the ultimate reason for the Internet to exist. It's awesome.