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Thursday, January 18, 2007

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Heather

Naw, naw, you got it all wrong. Tim may have the best BLING going, but for real laser beams, you have to try Jack and Rexella Van Impe. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-f3aRnkgOWs
http://www.jvim.com

messiestobjects

No way... sorry dude, Jack may be a nutjob, but he looks more like a more dashing, sexier Jerry Falwell. I mean seriously, checkout the malevolent glare comin' outta Tim's orbs there!

Gary

I read Dianetics when I was 17 and it sounded really cool. I probably shouldn't pollute my mind any further by reading what you're reading. Not that I'd believe it, but it sounds like it would cut into my sittin' around time. Thanks for the general gist though. I'll stick to The Dune series when I want messiahs and mayhem.

Anyway - lets all hope the rapture happens soon. After the mess gets cleaned up traffic on 209 and 611 during the weekend will probably be MUCH better. I'll actually be able to go to The Crossings without wanting to die. Or not.

messiestobjects

Actually, I was kinda hoping that the lord would take The Crossings with him...

Miss Luongo

Christy turned me on to Joe Bageant. She gets credit. And now I would like a cookie for righting that wrong. A cookie and Robert Redford. But a more handsome Redford to eat cookies with. Hook it up, or I won't believe anymore.

Miss Luongo

That's Hippocrates' four humours that that dude is charging you to determine. We really should bring them back to the medical field. Low on phlegm, borrow some from a friend. Black bile? Go to the store, pick some up. Blood, you know what to do. That's right. Eat mosquitos. You'll be right as rain and ready for the rapture.

messiestobjects

D'oh! My apologies to Christy. But how was I to know? She never puts stuff like that on DK, does she? Anyway, she stole my photos and put them all over MySpace, so, we're even.
And, ew, gross.

Heather

Yeah, dude. Today's Robert Redford is aging about as well as Brad Pitt. Yick.

Heather

Also, no one ever say "dashing", "sexy" and "Jerry Falwell" in the same sentence ever again.

secret rapture

My inaugural address at the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead, after I have raptured out billions!
Read My Inaugural Address
My Site=http://www.angelfire.com/crazy/spaceman
Your jaw will drop!

Christy

Mike - I responded to the "stealing" of your photos via e-mail.. I didn't say anything about the Joe Bageant thing or the pictures because honestly that's petty bullshit, the point is you read the article and liked it and some people that I like on MySpace saw a chronical of our trip before my film photos were developed. Additionally, anyone that gave me personal kudos on the photography was informed that I did not personally take the photos. If you take down the pictures of me on your smugmug, I will link to your site? Fair??
Rah.

Christy

I hope this video goes through - I'm not sure what the status of posting HTML is on this site... In this fanatical religious vein I thought that you might appreciate a bulletin that I posted yesterday - I've already sent it to Julie because she's the one that forwarded me the video (credit, credit, credit):

">http://vid32.photobucket.com/albums/d19/klopfensteinc/01-11-07-700CLub-popdecline.flv">

A friend of mine forwarded this video to me - it's Pat Robertson's take on population decline. Essentially he's saying only people of faith are able to bear children. This is a response that I e-mailed to him - actually I submitted the question to Ask Pat! - if I'm lucky enough maybe he'll read my letter on TV!!! Note: I had to actually submit multiple Ask Pat!s - his box limits the amount of text you can enter. Incidentally I think he should allow more - the categories are kinda heavy..

Dear Pat:
I've just recently become aware of your views on population decline, I'm intrigued.. I've generally associated the phenomenon of hyperactive uterus with under utilized brain - but really, who am I to speculate?

In order to test your theory that there is a correlation between faith and fertility I would like to use the scientific method. I am against reproduction, but to solve the riddle I'm willing to offer myself as test uterus #1.

I am sure you're aware that there is a much higher incidence of babies born with Downs Syndrome to women 35 and older (I know you probably think that link is weak - it is probably due to sin now isn't it?) - anyway - upon turning 35 I will take the following actions:

1. Drink as heavily as I can without killing myself or rendering myself infertile.

2. Have lots of unprotected sex.

3. Determine if I am pregnant. If I am pregnant during the second trimester I will have the blood test to determine the Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) level in my blood. If it is high that means it is very likely that I will have a baby with Downs Syndrome.

4. If the baby is normal I will have an abortion. If the baby is likely Downs I will carry it to term.

5. I will repeat this cycle until I have at least 8 children with Downs Syndrome.

I will raise them in an environment you consider ethical and religious. Since they will be (to varying degrees) mentally impaired getting them to swallow your brand of religion should be a no brainer.

Here's the tricky part morally - I will have to allow and encourage them to reproduce (to test if they are more likely than the average population to conceive). Allowing them to bear children could have ethical implications - but I'm sure that's never stopped you. I'm positive we'll find a way around it.

Notes:
-I will encourage fellow female friends to participate. I know a group of eight hardly provides an airtight answer either way.
-I know you're thinking - "This won't work since she's not a believer she won't be able to conceive." - don't worry - I must be an anomaly. I once became impregnated. As the zygote grew I became nauseated with the human cancer that grew inside. I got one of those nifty aborto pills and righted the situation. Looking back I really wish I'd had it tested first - I could have gotten a bit of a head start.

Anyway Pat, let me know what you think. I think this could work!

Christy

I just realized that the actual video did not go through - here's a link to it.

messiestobjects

Ok your pictures are off... although I'm sad I really liked that one of you in the smokey landfill area.
Don't make fun of me about the credit thing! It's important, you know? Anyway I wasn't that worried about it with you, and the Joe Bageant thing... it's just nice to say who turned you on to stuff. I think the kids are calling it 'props, yo' these days.
Thanks for the link! We all wants to see Pat making a freak out of himself.

Christy

I kinda understand - people repost my shit all the time, I am desensitized to it.

Christy

You don't have to remove my pictures unless you want me to link to your blog. I guess you are saying that you'd like me to link to your blog?

messiestobjects

Well, I figured that if you don’t want your face to be linked with DK, I should take your pictures off anyway because people come to my site several times a week after doing searches for DK, and from there it’s easy enough to find you on my smugmug page.
And I think the fact that you are capable of pushing out 8 babies is proof enough that non-believers in God can have babies too... but I think it actually helps Pat's case if they are 8 unnervingly pleasant to be around babies. He'd consider that a punishment from God, not a blessing.

Christy

Yes, tards are always pleasant, aren't they? Will does a magnificent Angry Retard.

Here's your link on my page:

You can go visit it if you want:

Discouragement Kitten!!!!

Christy

This doesn't seem to like displaying images or videos. Buttf*ckers (the asterisks (aka K. Vonnegut's A-Hole) was just for you Mike..)

Love,
Me

messiestobjects

Are you getting revenge on me?

Christy

I am not vengeful Mike. I thought I was entertaining you to an extent. Do you like the link on my page!??!! I used your fancy font and everything.

messiestobjects

That's what I meant by revenge... Tar and feather me already.
But you're right, Will does in fact do a most excellent... no, FFFanTAstic Angry stumbly wumbly.

Miss Luongo

Speaking of credit, I got the Pat Robertson thing from Gary's site.

messiestobjects

Gahh! Ok, I give up. I finally understand why Scott thinks I'm a tool for getting so worried about proper props. Internet makes giving credit too convoluted. Damn technology.

messiestobjects

Sorry, got sidetracked; Heather, Jerry Falwell is a smashing hunk of burnin' love. That guy can jiggle his boobs with the best exotic dancers out there. Did I say hunk? I meant chunk.
And Secret Rapture: you're a freak dude. Keep it up.

Christy

For your viewing pleasure...
Picture Obtained From...

Heather

No one disputes that Jack Van Impe or Jerry Falwell can wear a Manssiere. I mean, a Bro. What I am opposed to is the notion that they could be a) dashing, or b) sexy. I'm sure Rexella would disagree. Because her name is R-E-X-E-L-L-A. Rhymes with "hot to trot for Jack Van Impe". That minx.

Christy

"D'oh! My apologies to Christy. But how was I to know? She never puts stuff like that on DK, does she? Anyway, she stole my photos and put them all over MySpace, so, we're even.
And, ew, gross."

While we're on this Mike - I hardly think the DK page constitutes the entirety of my interest base. Having known me for 10+ years I'd think you'd know that.

Miss Luongo

Tools are useful.

messiestobjects

You go Falwell, it's yer birthday! You go Falwell, it's yer birthday!

No, I know you do other stuff, but it's hard to keep up with what all crazy surfin' you internet vixens get up to all the time... I seem to be having enough trouble just trying to keep up with my own page, today...

Heather

Lookit you, surrounded by angry vixens! Awww... Too bad! "You. Go tell your man-leader that the woman-leaders are angry. Tell him placate them with chocolates and absinthe. Otherwise, no more peace, war for many moons." If you let the credit thing go, you'll be just like the rest of us who realize the internet was created for the sole purpose of fostering plaigiarism. So join us. Bring your Manssiere and we'll have a ritual. At the end, bongos and doughnuts!

Gary

yeah the crossing sucks but they do have nice Timberland and Vans stores - and I need those to live properly. Good shoes and plenty of fiber I always say...

anyway - no credit needed when it's not really my stuff (of which there is little). The internet is chock full of copyright infringement, but most of the time I guess no one cares unless you're making money off of it. The Pat thing I got from some place else, I think alt.atheism or alt.slack - don't remember.

For example - I posted the video of the decomposing pig (my new band) after I saw it on heather's blog (which she saw on another blog. She gave credit but I say screw that! I'm not giving her credit for a YouTube video. I try not to give her credit for anything, her head's too big already. :)

btw - check out the latest video on my site of cars sliding around on ice in portland. Got that at the S-K forum but I'm not give them credit (or the fan that posted it) either until they get back together.

messiestobjects

Yeah I saw that... I was going to comment and say how awesome it was, but for some reason I can't comment on your site anymore... I think that my password expired or something.
Just so you all know though: My photos may not be professional, and I'll never make any money off of them, but I am very proud of some of them and it's my achilles heel, apparently, to get very defensive about them. Some would say overly-possessive and possibly retarded, but hey, at least I'm not out there making retarded baby farms...

Heather

Your photos ARE your retarded baby farm. Don't you see?

Miss Luongo

I've been talking about those sliding cars all night! Crazy. When I watched it I was making up stories in my head about what the passengers were thinking. Dug it.

Christy

The Vans store is no longer...

What's wrong with retarded baby farms for science?

messiestobjects

Oh, nothing, I'm just grasping at straws in order to validate myself. I'm a tool that way.

Heather

HEY! My head's no bigger than a standard-issue retarded baby. Now take it back.

messiestobjects

Your head IS your retarded baby farm. Don't you see?

Gary

The Vans store is gone? WTF?? How can be a rejuvinile without them? Those sneakers are damn comfortable.

Did you guys know Heather invented the internet with Al Gore? So she sort of gets credit for everything on it already.

Gary

hey can we get a chat room?

messiestobjects

Yes, apparently we need one. Hey Gary, notice anything new here?

Gary

PRAISE JESUS! I can listen to music again AND come here!

Heather

Wrong! Al Gore invented the internet with ME.

Secret Rapture

Thank you for leaving my link up. The Secret Rapture soon! Within months, if not years, by my hand, we will be in the post apocalyptic world of 'Jericho' on TV! Stay tuned!

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