I Wax Badly Poetic About Very Big Things I've Seen On My Tours Quite Alot, Don't I? or, Cambodia, Here's My Ode To Ya

They say that travel is broadening, and I'm beginning to think I'll never be able to know that for myself because I'm starting to understand that being a tourist is not the same thing as Travelling, (capital 'T' intended) and it seems that there is nowhere you can go that's cool anymore where you're not just another tourist. Bugger. Well, I can at least say with authority that tourism is informative, which is not quite as good as getting all broadened up, but still pretty all right. So, in that spirit, allow me to tell you what I've learned generally about Southeast Asia, and Cambodia specifically because Thailand is so last week. I've learned that once, long long ago before men ruled the world, there was a great world war between the squirrels and the monkeys. The squirrels bombarded the monkeys with their nuts, the monkeys tossed their sun-dried bowel gems at the squirrels, they would get into spectacular tree acrobatic sumo fights, and things continued on in this way for quite some time until the fact dawned on them that nobody was really winning because nuts and sun-dried bowel gems are not lethal, and winter was coming. A truce was made and a decision reached to split the world between them, and since squirrels are not as smart as monkeys, they were conned into taking to the northern climes, and the monkeys got the tropics. So, what I'm trying to say is that monkeys are Southeast Asia's squirrels. They run around in the public parks collecting things left behind and play in the trees, and keep that same sort of not-too-terribly- afraid-but-cautious distance from people thing that squirrels do. Lets hope that the monkeys don't discover crack the way those crazy South London gangs of squirrels did.... whew, what a mess. Kids these days. I'd just like to say though, that NY City squirrels did it first, NY City squirrels did it worse. Anyway, it's cool though, because I'll get all excited and be like "Monkey!" and the Cambodians will be all like "Dude, total tourist. Lets go hassle him for some money."
Another thing I've learned is that Cambodian trees are the coolest. They got some awesome trees around here.

That's just a taste... I have soooooo many tree pictures, but you'll just have to wait until I get all my pictures up onto smugmug. Speaking of which, I opened my Krabi, Thailand photo gallery. It's a smallish gallery because there wasn't a whole lot there, and also it's taken me this long to even be able to get those few up. I won't be opening any other galleries until I get back home to speedy internet, probably.
Moving on; another thing I've learned is that travel by tuk-tuk is awesome. Today I took a 3 hour trek through the Cambodian countryside on one. Fantastic. And by the way, I know you're all likely very sick of hearing me talk about them by now, but I have to add that bumping along Cambodian backroads in a three-wheeled cart with cushions towed by a scooter (that's what a tuk-tuk is) while listening to The Gun Club is sublime. My MP3 player has been shamed, in it's social circles. It is no longer an MP3 player, but a Gun Club player. I've listened to nothing else since the night of my eye surgery. Okay that's the last time I'm name-dropping them here, I promise.
And the last bit of touristy wisdom that I'll be passing along is that Angkor Wat is really really really really really really really really really really freaking fantastically big. I mean really, really big. You have no idea just how large. Just enormous. It's fantastihugeoungouslylarge. Ok yes I'm borrowing a bit from Douglas Adams as he attempts to describe the size of the Universe, and you shouldn't think that Angkor Wat is the same size as the Universe because of my paraplageurism, because then you'd be very wrong and a bit confused about things, but it really is just amazing. I read somewhere that it is the largest religious structure in the world. Or the largest spiritual temple. Or something. Anyway, it's on the list to potentially be one of the new Seven Wonders of the World... I'm going to vote for it first, definitely, and I've seen more than a few of the items on that list. See this picture?

Yeah, it doesn't really give you any idea at all of how big that thing is. Anyway, this whole area, around the town of Siem Reap, is crazy infested with temples. Angkor Wat is the main attraction, but there are literally over a thousand other ruined forest temples that are also awesome in different ways. There's one named Ta Prohm that is overgrown with trees, breaking apart the stones of the Temple. Parts of Tomb Raider were filmed there, I understand. Never seen it. But here's a good temple/tree combo. There will be alot of these, someday, in my Angkor gallery.

There's another one named the Bayon, which has a whole mess of very large enigmatically smiling faces carved all over it. The one I took the tuk-tuk ride out to today is called Beng Mealea, and it was my favorite side temple so far because the only people that go out there are those that stick around for more than two or three days and have the time to venture out to the more distant temples, so for large periods of time I was alone and it's been untouched and virtually unrestored since it's rediscovery, so it was very Indiana Jones. Indiana Jones = cool.
I'm not doing a very good job of conveying what this place is like. Angkor Wat, together with the walled city of Angkor Thom a few hundred meters away, once formed the nucleus of the Khmer empire, where kings competed with each other over a 300 year period to build the biggest and best temples ever. EVER. I am here for five days, and that's either not enough time, or enough to overwhelm me into a puddle that never wants to see another temple or take another picture again. I have taken so many inadequate pictures that I kind of want to give off a good girly shrill scream and chuck my camera at a wall. Don't doubt it, I've done it before! Different reasons though. My idiot boss was really pissing me off that time.
Speaking of, the former head of my old company was finally sentenced the other day... 46 months in prison. He's been in jail without bail for 15 months already, so, he's got a few years left. Then 2 years parole. So, that's the end of that chapter, and hopefully my blog will never see mention of that whole mess ever again. Unless they still want me to go to DC at some point, then I'll try and keep it to a travelogueing minimum.

Comments

[Dad]

Just got to catching up with your whirl-world tourist-in-hypo-trekking-blog as you wax on about so much particle acceleration as you regain your vision. AND... you're an artist!!! Way cool. I have always been impressed by your eye behind the camera and think that many of your photos are world-class... anyway I am approahing a milestone in the next few days and just want to say I'm proud of ya... see you soon.

[messiestobjects]

Hello, it's hypertrekking, not hypo, Mr. Type-o. Thanks for the comments, though.
And yes, I know, I'm not going to be around for your 60th... didn't think about that before I left. Well, I'll be back on the 23rd, and to celebrate you can pick me up at the airport!

[Heather]

Hypo-trekking is when you stay home.

[messiestobjects]

Explain yourself, woman.

[messiestobjects]

Never mind. I get it now.

[Gary]

I'm the hyper-hypo and you're the devil!!

[Dad]

Well there you go.... I was thinking hypo as in slow-type-trekking not so much as staying at home... What time on Friday??? Will you get to come to our gig on Sunday???

[Idetrorce]

very interesting, but I don't agree with you
Idetrorce

[messiestobjects]

You make no sense Idetrorce, whoever you are. You don't agree with me on what? Details, man, details. A good story is told with details, and your story sucks.

[music]

very interesting.
i'm adding in RSS Reader