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« A Cranky Family Heritage, And Damn Proud Of It. | Main | I Ain't Askin' Fer Yer Advice, See? I'm Just Whinging My Bored Little Guts Out. »

Friday, March 23, 2007

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SaranneFosselmanMiller

Okay, the green has faded. I'm better now.

I don't know you well enough to call you goofy-looking in the picture. I'll take Julie's word on it. But now that I've taken a closer look, you do look a little.....well, I'll just leave it at that and go visit your flight suit photos to cleanse my pallet.

Heather

"Goofy" is code for "hot". Everyone knows this.

messiestobjects

And "hot" is code for "disposable". Only I know this, but I pass this knowledge on to the world.

Heather

No one let him get away with that. I'm begging you. Ladies?

Heather

Christy? Someone deflate him ASAP.

SaranneFosselmanMiller

McPick, only you know of this secret because you are disposable? So we can dispose of you? Because I'm sure you are not referring to any of us "goofy" people. (clearly not feeling Shakespear tonight...)

Since Jenn is not here, I feel the need to the take the liberty of noting that we have pushed the 50 mark.

messiestobjects

Yeah... I'm not sure what Heather's getting all panicky about. I'm pretty sure I just did a job of self-deflation there. I'm just saying, you know, hotness equates with shallowness equates with disposability...

By now you should realize that I don't really know what I'm talking about. I make it up as I go, and when girls start calling me hot I get all flustery and say stupid things. So. You know. Knock it off you crazy posse.

SaranneFosselmanMiller

Hottie, hottie, hottie.

Har! Har! Flustered?

Seriously, I agree with the hot thing in terms of plastic people and Barbie dolls. People who love their outsides have not taken the time to care for their insides. Oh, they're hot all right. Hot like an air balloon.

I am pleased to report that my friends and acquaintances regularly harass me about my daily unkempt appearance and lack of personal hygiene. I used to get away with this behavior by referring to myself as a hippie chick. At 36, I can no longer slide on the hippie stigma. Now, I am just a dirty girl. But, hey! At least I'm not a hottie! Can't beat that!

Gary

I don't know what you people are talking about. Being hot is the best thing you can be.

Heather

My bad. I thought you were trying to call Julie disposable when everyone knows the only thing that's going to be around after nuclear winter is Julie's blog. I get the confused; I blame the green background. Your disposability is unparalleled, of course; have you tried standing outside her house with a boombox? I must have missed something without the miracle cure-all tonic that is Sanka. I'm so ashamed. Please. Carry on.

Heather

Saranne, you damn dirty hippie. Remind me to show you my own version of "poet-in-a-do-rag". It's fantastic.

spanky

I am honored to be a goofy guppy. which is 10 times better than being a goofy whale, which is what i resemble more than a guppy.

so far as being hot...well what can i say..genetics did not give me much to work with, but Id like to think I have a hot mind. if there can be such a thing. so far as my body being hot? Um no. not at all.

Thanks for giving me a nickname..i know someone is jealous but since i never know who is leaving what comment due to your blog format i think it is either julie or sara. either way, others jealouy makes me gleem with happiness.

thanks.

YOur loyal Guppster.

also, i am not drunk. i just take alot of sudafed.

spanky

upon reading the prior comments again, i see i am not a goofy guppy but a drunk one. even better. also, my sister sara is flirting with you and it is SHAMEFUL I TELL YOU.....

sara you should be filled with hot shame for coveting michael in his pant suits or whatever.

Miss Luongo

I'm not sure how I got tied up in the hotness mix, but Iam(bic) hot (snork - that's my word-dork laugh).

I don't like to use the word hot because it's Scare-us Hilton's and I don't mimick the deeply stupid. It's not nice.

And we're all disposable. Not alot of us. Not even a lot of us. But the lot of us.

spanky

I consider myself rather cake-ish

messiestobjects

The fact that all of us are spending the greater portions of our days trying to make each other laugh by making silly comments on each other's blogs kind of makes us dorks, actually.

Dorks are not hot, even if by some freak of nature they're physically attractive.

spanky

I reek of dork. but here is what I know for sure...i may not be a a hottie tottie...but like Ron white says...you cant fix stupid. so all the pretty people...if they are dull and dumb...well pretty only goes so far and after that...well there is dorks like me. and i like being s dork. with other dorks flocking around me.

Heather

I Brake for Dorks.

spanky

heather I am just impressed that you brake at all. You seem like a pedal to the metal kinda gal. and that isnt bad. im just glad youll brake for me since i dont like to run in public. looks bad. real bad.

wolfboy

Here's to swimmin' with bowlegged women!

Heather

Running in public is for losers, and as we have already established, we are D-O-R-K-S. But personally, dweeby boys really are my favorite.

spanky

dork boys are fab.

SaranneFosselmanMiller

Gary, again, I expect nothing less of you.

Wolfboy, who you callin' bowlegged?

Julie, you are the exception to the hot rule. You've got good outsides. Good insides. Good natured. I'm sure you have other problems in life...(I'm feeling the green. LOL)

Heather, bring on your poet-in-a-do-rag.

Spanky, I LOVE RUNNING IN PUBLIC! And leaping, too. I do a lot of public leaping and cartwheeling.

Michael, I spent most of my life posing as a dork. I've recently come out of the closet as the coolest person anyone has ever met. (no one is going to fall for that, are they?)

SaranneFosselmanMiller

This is number 74. I think we can make it to 100. If I were a cheerleader or a songwriter, I'd put a little ditty together in the name of motivation to 100. Heather?

Of course I'm a dork. Who else would write something like this? I give myself E for effort. And D for dork.

Heather

I don't know, Cap'n Sarannemeter. I'm all tuckered out from the hellz-a-blazin' work I did today. But I'll see if anything's lurking down there and report back... For the love of God, people, I'm an ARTISTE! I can't be made to perform on demand! Wait, what? Oh, yeah. Never mind.

Kris

Does any body really know what a dork is? My daughter does, she thinks I am since Buffy is my hero too. But thanks to Michael I don't stand alone. And for the record I like to think of myself as being a "COOL DORK"

messiestobjects

Now now everyone... unlike our dear friend Miss Luongo's blog, this blog thrives on it's commenters making serious thoughtful additions to the conversation, rather than devolutions into lesbianism or comment counting. It's about quality people, not quantity!

... aw hell. I can't even fool myself. Tell you what Iambic Sarannemeter... I'll believe that you're the coolest person ever if you'll buy my highbrow posing nonsense... everyone else, carry on as normal.

Heather

Oooh! Buy it! Buy it! "Let's see what happens when we replace our regular Mike with Folgers Crystals..."

SaranneFosselmanMiller

OMG! Heather! I just choked on a yellow pepper over replacing Michael with Folgers Crystals. You slay me! I will take note not to eat while reading Heather's comments.

Okay, now onto some business. First of all, Michael - GOOD GOD! - don't do that to me! I totally thought you were serious about the ramming around on your blog. I was reading line for line and getting that tingly uncomfortable, I've-done-a-very-bad-thing feeling. Whew!

Next, I am so buying your line of crap. You are all highbrow from where I'm standing and let's just keep it that way so that I keep on bein' my cool self over here.

Kris, I agree with you on cool dork. And the more I think about it, because I have some time to kill, the more I define a dork as someone who is not afraid to exhibit their defects of character in a public setting. Which still makes me cool. I'll have to work on that. And my seething hatred. And smoking. And over-reacting. And my jealousy.

Wait a minute....hang on.

SaranneFosselmanMiller

Ok, I'm back. I just wanted to rack up the tally.

I will laugh over Folgers Crystals for a week, Heather!!!!!!!!!!

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

messiestobjects

Yeah, laugh it up, fuzzballs. You know what happens when you replace me with Folgers Crystals? You get a shitty instant coffee caffeine buzz and no highbrow dork blog to make fun of. So there.

Heather

Hmm, yes. That could be bad. But you love it. You're wearing your flight suit right now, I bet. Flexing in the mirror... "Lookit me! I'm a rocket man!"

SaranneFosselmanMiller

Yo, you're the one who called yourself disposable, Rocket Boy. There's no need for idle threats. Now, step away from the flight suit and have a cup of Sanka.

(ssssppppptttt...Heather, I'm out on the Folgers test. He's right. Coffee can't blog and this is the only place I get to be a pretend cool person. Too much is at stake. Sorry, babe.)

Miss Luongo

Saranne, I don't have problems. Girl, it's a charmed life. Nothing can touch me. I'm golden girl. Living the dream, I am. Thanks for checking.

spanky

"replacing mike with folgers crystals"

WILL BE FUCKING FUNNY FOREVEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

THAT WAS THE SHIT.

laughed out loud I did.

all the making fun we do mike is just further evidence that we like you and need to vbring your down to our infantile level so that we are more comfortable with our own inner and outter dork.

SaranneFosselmanMiller

Yes, yes, Julie. I know. I shall continue to dwell in your shadow of elite perfection. You could have lied, you know. Just to make the rest of feel better.

Spanky, did you just call Michael an infant? If we have to bring him down from that level to boost our own self-esteems, I am concerned with my well-being.

"Push it, push it real good...." - That's my cheer/song to get to 100. This is like running up hill through molasses. Must go to work. Be back at one. I call dibs on number 100! Shotgun!

Heather

Puh-LEEZE. Mike could never be replaced and he knows it. BUT! That doesn't mean we have to do his bidding. Well, you can. Me? I'm busy. I've got very important people to meet and very important places to be. Sheeeeit.

spanky

the song "push it" i think...is about sex...could be wrong, but i dont think it is fitting for the blog a thon weve got going here.

heather has important places to be abd people to see...meanwhile i hide in the bathroom part of the day and the other half "walk arounf carring papers with a worried look on my face" like constanza.

slacker of all slackers. I may be the queen of slack.

Gary

spam-ky is a subgenius and doesn't even realize it.

spanky

who is spam-ky...is this like a spin off show, only it is a spin off person...spanky and her friend spam-ky


or are you just suggesting i am idiot savant. i get that alot.

Gary

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Church_of_the_SubGenius#Slack

spanky

I am mad you have associated my good spank name with some wierdo beatnick "church"

spanky

although i can see how you came to the conclusion that i am a member.

Gary

I take it back.

spanky

really? YOu do? because that makes me forgive you a little

spanky

actually i am a little sensetive today..forgive my hostility.

Heather

OK. About the "important" part? Totally lying. I thought that'd be obvious: I's a yarn-spinner. Though my annual review is coming up, and they've got me chained to the radiator in here. HELP! Motherty f*cket. In other news, I want the name "spam-ky" so I can be the sidekick you deserve! Maybe "Hamky".

Heather

Alright. I'm under the wire. If you don't know the tune to this, I can't help you.

THE COMMENTER'S SONG
Ooooooooooooh, Cousin Dan was a real man’s man who was very rarely stable.
And Pegger, Miss Pegger was a boozy beggar who could blog you under the table.
Gary D. could out-type me and Vinny Barbarino.
And Sarannemeter was a wordy hoo-er who was just as sloshed as Dino.
It’s said that Julie couldn’t school ye on the trauma to your wrists.
Spankity, herself, is permanently pissed…

Matt Lesoine, purveyor of poyn, after half a day of blogging was in rarest form. KC, they say, could stick it away, half a crate of comments every day!
Dooner, Jenn and Cordy were buggers for the shortie,
And Christy was fond of her nip.
And Mike the Rogue was a drunken pogue :
"I blog, therefore I slip."

Yes, Spankity herself is particularly missed;
A lovely little blogger, but a bugger when she's pissed.

spanky

i wanty you to be known ffrom this point on as Hanky (heather+spanky) sister of the the ellusiver butt clencher Spankey the great.

yep it is settled now.

spanky

oh that was just beautiful.

and your right. I am just no fun when i am pissed. Lucky for everyone i had cheesestix for lunch (happy happpy) and discussed at great length the legacy and the myth of the "shifty eye"

shiftiness is one of my favorite topics. those in life unable to make eye contact are subject to my shifty finger. it is a magic finger that can dertermine all things shifty. it was a power given to me after a freak electric storm/car accident typhoon.


anyway one of my alias's is the SHIFTONATER

so why do i like shifty so much? well i was discussing a co workers husband who goes tot he methadone clinic everyday because he was in jail for 6 years due to a crack addiction that caused him to rob the same bank twice. they caught him the second time. anyway....he is the poster man of shifty.

and i love it.

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