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« See? I Can't Be That Depressed. | Main | Mr. Williams Goes To Washington And Has A Splendid Time Complaining About Nearly Everything, As Is His Wont. »

Sunday, March 04, 2007

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Heather

I'd take Hitler to dinner at the Macungie Diner. It's so... macungie.

messiestobjects

And a fitting end for him it would be, too.

My friend Jeff just sent me an email regarding this post, and since I don't understand why he doesn't just post something like this as a comment, I'm going to post it for him, because he's right.

From Jeff:
Based on today's blogging...
...you officially need to get back out on the road.

Just sayin'.

Miss Luongo

I'm so tired of playing god all the time. I'm just going to let it play out the way it will, except Al Gore gets to be president.

messiestobjects

Amen. Al Gore for president in 2000! I mean, it wouldn't even be changing anything all that much. He did win the election, after all.

Gary

I hate time travel. Well forward time travel I can deal with but backward time travel is just stupid. I hate it whenever it's in a movie (like the Terminator) or Star Trek.

Anyway - killing Hitler after he got all his buddies together might be too late - not sure about that one. Maybe kill him before he writes Mein Kampf. I'm sure that would do some good. But if you watch Star Trek or Back To The Future you know that messing with the timeline has serious consequences that are can be unforseen... blah phooey! Time travel sucks.

Would I nuke the human race because in one possible future we're the baddies? No that's just dumb I think. Maybe since the alien travelled back in time he created a paradox in which since he told us the future, the future was now changed and everything that happened after that changed the direction of the timeline. Or maybe it's FATE like in the terminator and nothing you can do can prevent the destined outcome. Did I mention that I hate time travel? Isn't it dumb that John Connor's father is the guy who gets sent back in time to save Sarah? How John Connor even exist in the first place to send the guy back if he hadn't sent him back yet. God that just ruins those movies for me.

Gary

(Ok I'm not sure he ever wore a beret, but Hitler as disaffected art student cracks me up.)

http://www.thenemesis.de/img/emoadolf2.jpg

messiestobjects

Yes well, time travel paradox is a whole other subject, I agree. I avoided it in this post because, well, it wasn't that sort of question. Assume for the sake of argument that there are no alternative timelines, and the future is the future, period.
I hate time travel movies also, though. I mean, the Terminator was ok because it was a genuinely creepy action flick. But the premise is either flawed, or too scientifically advanced to ever be understood by laymen. There was one I particularly hated when I was a kid about some dude riding through the desert on a motorcycle where there were government spooky types performing time travel experiments and ZAP! He's in the Old West. I hated that freaking movie. And Back to the Future... well, that time travelling train at the end of the third one was THE DUMBEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN.
And you're right, I didn't think about the whole Mein Kampf thing. That's better than the beer hall putsch.

Gary

Well the future can't be the future period, because if I kill Hitler then the future after that is entirely different. I don't know how to assume for the sake of argument with a question like this, because the whole point of killing Hitler is to prevent what he would do in IN THE FUTURE... I think we're at that party you mentioned and I'm about to put on Trout Mask Replica. :)

messiestobjects

I understand all that... think of it as an either/or future then. Yes it's stupid! I said is was a hackneyed question, didn't I? It's a moral dilemma. Thought experiment. You know, generally cats aren't alive and dead in boxes at the same time, either, but it helps as a tool to try and visualize quantum particle behavior.
Also, I understand that such paradoxes are actually possible, you know, among theoretical mathematicians. But I'm not one of those guys, so I'm not taking that stance. In other words, I ain't sayin', I'm just sayin'.
I'm going to sic Heather on you if you don't behave.

Heather

If I may be so bold as to put Mike on the shrink couch for a minute: "Zo. Ze first person who comes to mind when making moral decisions iss... Adolf Hitler? Ja? Very interesting." Would a Ouija board help at all? We can make that happen.

Gary

I can handle her.

Well then what's the question? Was Hitler a bad guy who should have been stopped when people had the chance? I think that's a given unless you're a member of the aryan brotherhood or some other such thing.

Or is it, is murder ever justified? What if we could go back and just put Hitler in a prison for the rest of his life?

sort of unrelated...
This reminds me of one of my genius (as in I noticed something cool and mentioned it) posts ...
http://www.godrex.com/?p=399

I haven't read this book but I want to. Another one of those should be required reading books.

http://www.press.uchicago.edu/Misc/Chicago/511928.html

Heather

Also, as soon as I read "Hitler," I just KNEW this post was about me. I'm touched. Really.

Gary

http://www.wfzr.net/radio/img/ouijatrans.jpg

Gary

Heather... Hitler.... it's not that big of a stretch.

messiestobjects

sigh... nobody gets me. But I remember that post of yours, and that book looks really interesting, and although the Nazi question is endlessly fascinating and I have many deep and important insights into it, which, for reasons of State, I must keep to myself, this post wasn't really about Hitler, or Time travel, or even Heebajaxers.

All I'm saying is, would you go back and kill him if you could. Most people, without thinking too deeply on it, usually say something like, "Hell yes!". I mean it's obvious. Most people in the western world consider him a monster. Maybe you wouldn't kill him; I myself am not sure whether I would or not. He was a bad bad man, but I am not a murderer.
Anyway the real point was taking pretty much that same moral party question and exaggerating it. I mean, if the answer is morally correct for death to Hitler, then the answer should also morally be correct for exterminating the Human Race, right? (That is, in a very rigidly controlled thought experiment. I in no way whatsoever condone the Genocide of Earth-dwellers, that's BULLSHIT! I am SO AGAINST that!!!)
2 x 2 = 4, 20 x 20 = 400, 200 x 200 = 40,000...
And also, I was just being silly. I felt like writing something, have been sitting around doing nothing but stuff I can't write about, and decided to go with an errant thought I had while sitting on the hooch. So, I admit, it's not a good question, really.

Heather

Yeah, you need to hit the road, Jack.

Heather

Plus, I already said I wouldn't kill him.

Miss Luongo

I'd go back and help Hitler get into art school. Naturally, he would go on to be a great artist. He was an ENFP, afterall. And we can't help but achieve greatness if we follow creative paths.

Gary

Julie = Hitler?

Heather

Julie can cop to that. I'm INFP. I only exterminate people... IN MY MIND, MAN! Pass that bong over here.

messiestobjects

Heather, there's no way you have an I. You are the least introverted person I ever knew.

Miss Luongo, have I called you a genius lately? Well, Gary thinks you might be Hitler, so perhaps I should reserve judgement.

Gary

Yeah I was thinking the same thing. I wouldn't describe her as introverted... but I think it's a different definition of introverted perhaps:

Marked by interest in or preoccupation with oneself or one's own thoughts as opposed to others or the environment; shy or reserved.

definitely not shy or reserved. But can't people think about their own thoughts AND think about others?

you can't define her maaaaan! you can't just pin a label her and think your know her!

Heather

"I vant to be alone." Anyway, BOTH of you, life has long since beaten the extraversion out of me. Also, remind me when I see you to bang your heads together like coconuts.

Gary

I had a great comeback but I'm guessing it's tasteless.

Heather

Chicken.

Heather

Dang! I meant, Chicken :).

Heather

We need to make a "Choose Your Own Adventure" book based on this premise.

messiestobjects

That's a brilliant idea. "Goosetepping Through The Ages." Or, "Mein Kampf, Mein Zeit Maschine".

Heather

"You are planing a dinner date with Hermann Goring and Hitler enters the room. Chose your own adventure! If you want to tell him to join you both at the Macungie Diner, turn to page 34."

messiestobjects

"Hitler complains of a bleeding rectum after eating some bad scrapple. He asks you to take him back to art school as his anal hemorrhage has given him an interesting idea for his next piece, but you think he might need medical care. If you want to knock him in the head and leave him behind the diner to bleed to death, go to page 22. If you want to return him to art school, go to page 53. If you want to take him to the hospital, please have his PAPIEREN BITTE!!

Heather

Decisions, decisions.

Christy

What if as a result of Hitler's actions three other genocidal maniacs were killed before their reign of terror began - exponentially saving many more than were killed in the Holocaust? I'd leave it be in both cases -

messiestobjects

You mean the Jewish Triumverate of Shady International Business & Money Grubbing? So you're saying Hilter was a good guy? Huh. Nazi.

Heather

For the purposes of this dinner party, Julie's Hitler has a perfect foil in Christy's Goebbels. It's a match! Gary can be Eichmann, Mike would be Mengele, and me? Well, I get to be Jaclyn Smith. So don't even try it.

Dad

Great excercise in thought... and I belived you were doing something important holed up in that room complaining that the diner-food affected you some way or other... tsk... OH!!! and BTW - the Diners name is actually (you'll all love this I'm sure) ... BEAR SWAMP DINER.... ironic you say... well I may have to do a little time travel to unravel this thread... or take Hitler, or is it Heather, or Ms Luongo??? Drat!!! Guess it's time to get a cup-o-joe.

Heather

Well, there's our Churchill, obviously.

messiestobjects

Bear Swamp Diner is funny, but Macungie sounds funnier to me. Say it. Ma-Cuuun-Gee. Macungie Macungie Macungie. It sounds like the type of place where of course you get sick from the food. Macungie. Where did they even get that name from? Sheesh. They named their own town Macungie.

Gary

Macungie is named after the Lenape word "Maguntsche", which means "feeding place for bears". - from wikipedia

your world makes that much more sense now...

Heather

I'm naming my town MacFungie. The extra "F" is for fun.

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