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Saturday, May 12, 2007

Comments

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Heather

Any word ending in "Meister" is a good word.

Heather

Also, "Happy Ski Pass" sounds like it was named in Thailand.

messiestobjects

Ja, und du bist der Gastkommentarmeister.

Julie

Bewildered ski patrol. Church sanctuary. Dude, this post is making me giggle (girly giggles).

Fernando Olmos

Hey you there!
It's the first time i check a blog from your country, and yours is really cool and awesome. it's terrific!
my regards from chile
fernando

check mine at http://boggito.blogspot.com
Fernando

messiestobjects

Are you picking on my manly giggles?

Fernando, on the off chance you're not some sort of blog-bot, I went to your site. I don't speak Spanish, dude, but thanks.

Julie

I never pick on people's laughs. Only bubble poppers do that.

Heather

Jawohl, ich bin eine GastkommentarmeisterIN last time I checked. Aber ich bin nicht hier weil keiner von dies ist wirklich. Oder, alle von dies ist wirklich. Einer der zwei.

messiestobjects

Is that German abstract expressionism or something? "But I am not here as without from this is actual?" I know I shouldn't directly translate the words like that, but I don't know that phrase and can't think of how else to order that sentence. Maybe it's because the little German that I know is Bavarian German, which is very different from hochdeutsch.

messiestobjects

Julie, you are a HUGE bubble popper. Giggity giggity.

Heather

I ain't your translator! Moment = passed.

Heather

OK. I can translate JUST THIS ONE TIME! "But I'm not here because none of this is real. Or, all of this is real. One of the two." Man. At the time? Funny.

Sissy

Well, I guess if Fernando is for real and if this really was his first visit to U.S. website, I'd say that he didn't do to bad.

Ich liebe dich.

That's my contribution. My husband speaks German and I haven't the slightest notion as to what he's saying. In fact, I'm not sure it's really German. I think he's making it up.

messiestobjects

I think he might be angry if you go around telling random bloggers that Du liebst sich. That's my contribution to your German.

messiestobjects

I want to write a story about Fernando the blog-bot.

Heather

I am enjoying the fact that the blog-bot's name is Fernando in a way beyond explaining. I'm also enjoying the spitting sound that is "hochdeutsch". Hochtooey to you, Herr Blog-Bot!

Gary

Fick mich, du miserabler hurensohn
Du miserabler hurensohn
Fick mich, du miserabler hurensohn
Streck ihn aus
Streck aus deinem heißen gelockten
Streck ihn aus
Streck aus deinem heißen gelockten
Streck ihn aus
Streck aus deinem heißen gelockten schwanz
Ah-ee-ahee-ahhhhh!
Mach es sehr schnell
Rein und raus
Magisches Schwein
Mach es sehr schnell
Rein und raus
Magisches Schwein
Bis es spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt
Feuer!
Bis es spritzt, spritzt, spritzt, spritzt
Feuer!
Aber beklecker nicht das Sofa, Sofa!
Aber beklecker nicht das Sofa, Sofa!
Aber beklecker nicht das Sofa, Sofa!
Aber beklecker nicht das Sofa, Sofa!

messiestobjects

Either that's a poem about making very fast love to a magic pig, or someone is angry about a ghost setting fire to his couch.

Or, I didn't really take the time to figure it out more carefully, being quite satisfied with the idea that Gary has a thing for schweineficken.

Take that, Fernando the blog-bot!

messiestobjects

Oh I get it now... the magic pig is spitting fire and the guy is freaking out because he doesn't want to mess his couch up. Either this is a gay couple, or it's told from the perspective of a girl.

Gary, that's dirty. You need help.

Gary

Well it does have to do with a homosexual encounter bewtween a guy and a robot - a model XQJ-37 Nuclear Powered Pan-Sexual Roto-Plooker, to be exact.

Julie

If that poems scares or threatens you in any way, I suggest that you run to the nearest church with a back access and do a run through.

Sissy

Well, I've just been informed that I told you all that I love you in German. Can I take it back?

Hablo Espanol, un poco. Donde viva Fernando?

Heather

Can't take it back now, I'm afraid. The good news is that loving us is "okay". As long as you don't "touch" us. We've got enough problems with robots, thank you very much.

Heather

I just wanted to say I'm thinking of you all on Mother's Day. Because, well, you're my favorite bunch of mothers.

Heather

Also, that I might have seen a film at the adult store called "The Back Door Robot", but I cannot say for sure.

messiestobjects

A blog-bot model XQJ-37? That's hot. I'm not scared at all. I'm just not letting Gary anywhere near my Fernando-bot. He's predatory.

Sissy don't be coy. You meant it. Don't worry, nobody is going to call you cootie-couch and run away on this playground.

Sissy

Whew! I was having images of empty swings creaking back and forth on squeeky hinges and dried leaves blowing around beneath empty monkey bars.

spank

Either that's a poem about making very fast love to a magic pig, or someone is angry about a ghost setting fire to his couch.

ha ha double tee hee hahah well done gary

Gary

It wasn't me, I don't come up with anything original.

spank

shit...who said that?/ why is your blog so complicated for me?? geeeeze

Miss Luongo

Fernando's not a blog bot. He's a real person. Sure, he doesn't usually blog in your language, and for that, he's certainly less than human (just like everyone who's not a white American male) ... but, he's human nonetheless.

Heather

Jerry? Jerry Falwell?

Heather

We thought you was dead!

messiestobjects

See? Look at you. Bubble. Popper. You knew I wanted to write a story about Fernando the blog-bot. But, if's he a real boy, I can't now. Thanks.

messiestobjects

Waitaminnit... first he's less than human, then he's human nonetheless? Make up your mind, is he on the lifeboat or off it, Miss Falwell!?

Miss Luongo

I popped your Fernando-bot bubble? I didn't mean to. I just went over there and took a harder look ... and it turns out, he is a bot. Go on now, write that story.

Sissy

Wait, are you just saying that to make him feel better or is Fernando real? I think he's a bot. Just for kicks.

messiestobjects

He's a bot, dammit! Julie enjoys giving cigarettes to babies. Ignore her.

Gary

Fernando is more real to me than any of you roto-plookers.

Sissy

Long live Fernando!!!!!

jess

michael...how many countries have you been to?? and dont count africe because after much debate....ive decided that the continant is just one country to me. and nothing you can say will ever change it.

messiestobjects

Well, not counting africe, I've been to 35 countries so far. I know this because I've kept a list... I'm that silly.

spank

africe is the fancy way of saying africa. ha ha.. list the countries.

who had the nicest people? who were the meanest? (or meanest experiences) who had the hotties..

messiestobjects

1) USA
2) Canada
3) England
4) Scotland
5) Holland
6) Germany
7) Austria
8) Italy
9) Czech Republic
10) Switzerland
11) Lichtenstein
12) Croatia
13) Slovenija
14) Denmark
15) Sweden
16) Poland
17) France
18) Russia
19) Kuwait
20) Iraq
21) United Arab Emirates
22) Jordan
23) Israel
24) Palestine
25) Morocco
26) South Africa
27) Lesotho
28) Swaziland
29) Romania
30) Turkey
31) Vatican City
32) Hungary
33) Egypt
34) Thailand
35) Cambodia

messiestobjects

BTW Spank, those are hard questions to answer... they all had their fair share of each I suppose, but it would take ages to try and quantify such things.

Miss Luongo

But those are the names the conquerors have given them! What are those places called in their native tongues?

messiestobjects

That is soooo old news, dude.

Miss Luongo

((sigh))

spank

did ya get to see the pyramids? i think that would be something.

messiestobjects

Absolutely. I even blogged about it here

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