So I was in Greenblatt's Deli the other day on Sunset Boulevard and this group of ladies sitting behind me were discussing a script that someone wanted them to make a movie out of. It was apparently about some boxer from South Africa during Apartheid, and during this conversation, I heard the phrase that made my trip to Hollywood complete: "I think there is definitely a market for a South African 'Rocky'." Ahhh... so Robert Altman. But it got even better as the discussion continued; they apparently forgot how marketable the idea was because she started to say that the guy would have to be flexible with his script as the "whole Apartheid thing has been done to death" and perhaps they could change it to a Muslim boxer, or a Muslim love interest because "that whole Muslim... thing... hasn't really been explored as much yet."
You can't make this stuff up, folks! Well... ok, they can, but I can't. I was so happy. That's really the best thing that happened to me on this trip. Although, if I was a sports fan, that wouldn't be true because I sat next to Kurt Warner on the plane ride from Newark to Pheonix. Although, since I had never heard of him until the guy sitting on the other side of me told me with barely concealed glee as we were getting off the plane who he was, I didn't get much out of it. I had had my headphones on and my face in a book for the whole trip, so I was confused as we began getting our luggage out of the overhead when some lady kept thanking him and how sorry she was to bother him but her son wouldn't forgive her if she didn't get his autograph (He was quite gracious about it), and in full earshot of Kurt, I turned to the guy next to me and said, "So who's this dude then?" After he told me, and ran down a list of Kurt Warner's football exploits, I was all like "Huh, that's wack, yo. But I don't watch football, so you're like, speaking gibberish right now."
I noticed while traveling from Newark to Phoenix to Santa Ana that every 4th person on the planes, in the airports, at my hotel here even, had a copy of the new Harry Potter book in their hands. Seriously. The front desk girl here is having a terrible time getting through it because although she speaks great English, it's not her native tongue but she's dying to find out what happens. Every time I walk by the desk she admonishes me not to tell her anything. It's all pretty funny. This is definitely going to be something that defines the 2000's when people reminisce 20 years from now. "So, where were you when the last Harry Potter book came out?" I just finished reading it myself, and I have to say that it's not what I expected, and it was pretty awesome. Definitely the most exciting one yet.
So otherwise, I've been to see the La Brea Tar pits, the big Hollywood sign, and I took a nice drive on Mulholland drive and a quick run through of Beverly Hills. Here's a picture of Hollywood High School. What's Lawrence Fishburne doing there with Elvis and Bruce Lee? Why is Dorothy so chubby? Who are all those other people? Is this the message we want to send to LA's young people?
I gave the Avenue of Stars and Rodeo Drive a big pass on the way to the Santa Monica Pier, which I could have passed over, also. Honestly, I can't figure out why rich and famous people like to live here. It's desert hot most days, the smog makes my eyes puffy, and the traffic is unbelievably insane. All that crazy talk about LA freeways is true. It takes about 2 hours to go 30 or 40 miles. Although, the Pacific Coastal Highway was nice. If I get time I need to go hit one of the beaches I passed. But, for my money, if I'm ever rich and famous, I'd live on Martha's Vineyard.
So here's a Sunset Boulevard billboard. I'd really like to know what the hell is going on in this Perrier ad. Um... no I wouldn't. Never mind. But I call this work of art 'Privilege', for obvious reasons. It all kind of ties together, I think.
Oh, did I mention that I'm here for work? I forget that part sometimes. Hee hee.
So, you prefer an island where wife beaters keep you up at night to a desert where script writers brainstorm about Muslim boxers in S. Africa? Good to know.
Posted by: Miss Luongo | Friday, July 27, 2007 at 15:38
Totally. There's less smog and bullshit in the Vineyard.
Posted by: messiestobjects | Friday, July 27, 2007 at 15:58
Michael I recommend that you start watching "Pardon The Interruption" just so you'll have enough information to function as a male in this society. :)
Posted by: Gary | Friday, July 27, 2007 at 16:17
Hmm... We have to get instruction videos for that nowadays, huh?
Posted by: messiestobjects | Friday, July 27, 2007 at 16:58
No just a little ESPN now and again. You can think of it as anthropology.
Posted by: Gary | Friday, July 27, 2007 at 17:01
I think I'd rather burn my eyes out of their sockets with a hot gridiron.
Posted by: messiestobjects | Friday, July 27, 2007 at 17:14
Cool! Can I watch you do it?
Posted by: Gary | Friday, July 27, 2007 at 17:42
It seems like a shame after getting the lasik done and all.
Posted by: Gary | Friday, July 27, 2007 at 17:43
Burning your eyes out of their sockets with a hot gridiron is a very private moment, Gary. Shame on you.
But you're right about the lasik. I may have to come up with a new strategy to avoid having to watch ESPN.
Posted by: messiestobjects | Saturday, July 28, 2007 at 13:54
Kurt Warner was probably relieved to be sitting next to you. He didn't have someone yapping in his ear the whole trip ("Remember that time you caught that ball? That was great man.")
Posted by: Miss Luongo | Monday, July 30, 2007 at 14:40
Yeah. Or, "Hey man, remember that time that you threw that ball and that other guy caught it, and there was much rejoicing? And then you guys slapped each other's asses? Yeah man, that was hot."
Posted by: messiestobjects | Monday, July 30, 2007 at 17:17
You guys are gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Posted by: Gary | Wednesday, August 01, 2007 at 09:59
Calling people gay is so gay.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Posted by: messiestobjects | Wednesday, August 01, 2007 at 11:53
are you calling me gay?
Posted by: spank | Friday, August 03, 2007 at 12:40
Yes Michael - I suppose calling people gay is gay - I mean why would you do that when you can call a whole group of folks from a moving car faggots - all at once?
Posted by: Christy | Friday, August 03, 2007 at 14:37
btw - I meant that they were cheery, bright and pleasant, because they seemed to be having so much fun lampooning jock behavior.
Posted by: Gary | Friday, August 03, 2007 at 15:32
Spanky: Never! But even if I was, it'd be a complement because gay girls are, you know, good bathroom fantasy material.
Christy: My point exactly.
Gary: Oops, my bad. Yeah, bright and cheery is what we are.
Posted by: messiestobjects | Friday, August 03, 2007 at 19:05
test
Posted by: spank | Saturday, August 04, 2007 at 07:40
well i was joking. but I guess my joke was lost...(long sigh)
Posted by: spank | Saturday, August 04, 2007 at 07:41
note....that my name is clickable now...muwohahahahaha
Posted by: spank | Saturday, August 04, 2007 at 07:42
"gay girls are, you know, good bathroom fantasy material."
You fantasize about gay girls while pooping. Interesting.
Posted by: Sissy | Saturday, August 04, 2007 at 08:50
that is a little odd
Posted by: spank | Saturday, August 04, 2007 at 08:55
Hmmm... obviously you two have never caught the men in your lives using the bathroom for "a little privacy". Huh.
Posted by: messiestobjects | Saturday, August 04, 2007 at 09:11
nope they just wank away righ in front of us. part of family fun
Posted by: spank | Saturday, August 04, 2007 at 09:47
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFmr-XzfTDY
Posted by: Gary | Saturday, August 04, 2007 at 10:07