Some Awesome Quotes, Because I'm At Work And Bored

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
Robert Heinlein

Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.
Benjamin Franklin

Dark and difficult times lie ahead. Soon we must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy.
J.K. Rowling

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
Albert Einstein

Adam was but human -This explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake; he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent. 
Mark Twain

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
Douglas Adams

The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance.
Socrates

If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.
Hermann Hesse

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
Steven Wright

Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant with odd waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.
Lemony Snicket

Knowledge can be communicated, but wisdom cannot. A man can find it, he can live it, he can be filled and sustained by it, but he cannot utter or teach it.
Hermann Hesse

History sighs, repeats itself.
The Onion

Someone's boring me. I think it's me.
Dylan Thomas

Comments

[Miss Luongo]

Robert Heinlein's list is tough...
change a diaper-check
plan an invasion-doubtful
butcher a hog-((shudder))
conn a ship-probably
design a building-no
write a sonnet-sure
balance accounts-under extreme duress
build a wall-yes
set a bone-can I have a manual for this?
comfort the dying-absolutely
take orders-yes, sir
give orders-damn straight
cooperate-sure
act alone-I am an island
solve equations-no guarantees
analyze a new problem-oh, yeah
pitch manure-no problem
program a computer-program? no
cook a tasty meal-absolutely
fight efficiently-maybe
die gallantly-who knows

Note to self: Take programming class and learn Brazilian jujitsu.

[messiestobjects]

I don't think you have to take his point quite so literally... But why not? I've always wanted to plan an invasion.

Woe to the makers of literal translations, who by rendering every word weaken the meaning! It is indeed by so doing that we can say the letter kills and the spirit gives life.
Voltaire

[Gary]

I've always considered myself a jack-off of all trades.

[Gary]

masturbator of none har har hardy har har!!

[messiestobjects]

Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate.
Monty Python

[Miss Luongo]

What's the point of being clear in your meaning if we're just supposed to get the gist of things? Sometimes a literal interpretation is desirable, Voltaire (if that is your real name). Cultivate a rich vocabulary and say what you mean, I say.

“If language is not correct, then what is said is not what is meant; if what is said is not what is meant, then what must be done remains undone; if this remains undone, morals and art will deteriorate; if justice goes astray, the people will stand about in helpless confusion. Hence there must be no arbitrariness in what is said. This matters above everything.”

~Confucius

[messiestobjects]

Touché!
Some French Dude

Having quoted that smart guy though, I think that you have to be able to tell the difference between the times when things are meant to be taken exactly as stated, and when a less literal approach is demanded.

It's an art, and few are called to it, I know. I'm lucky that way.

I think Heinlein's quote was meant to state simply, learn a lot of random unrelated skills. But the guy that says "Watch out for that falling piano!" should be taken literally, especially if you're a cartoon.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way too literal for me.
Mitch Hedberg

[Gary]

But the guy that says "Watch out for that falling piano!" should be taken literally, especially if you're a cartoon.

it seems to me it would be more important if you're NOT a cartoon.

[messiestobjects]

Yeah, I thought about that, but you know, the statistical likelihood of getting quashed by a falling piano is much higher if you're a cartoon. I don't think it happens all that often to meat-people.

In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.
Douglas Adams

[linus r.]

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." -- Albert Einstein

The above Einstein quote is the only possible means of trying to figure out the Heinlein quote....

[messiestobjects]

Are you saying that you don't get the Heinlein quote? That's kind of pot and kettle of you, considering how byzantine the logic of your own page is...

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people.
William Butler Yeats

[linus r.]

Perhaps Heinlein suggests that this is all that "human beings need to know" live like "human beings" effectively.... in that case, this would support Einstein's
"cosmic" comparision to "human beings"....

anyway, on a side note, I can certainly think of more eloquent quotes on human behavior that Heinlein's....

[messiestobjects]

Hey man, it's not a contest. I just really like that quote. I agree that people ought not be too narrowly focused. It's just an opinion though, not a fact. Some people are born specialists, and were it not for them, the world might get too messy.

You don't need to outdo the competition. It's expensive and defensive. Underdo your competition. We need more simplicity and clarity.
Jason Fried

[linus r.]

anyway.... apart from that silly Heinlein quote.... have you ever been to LASFS (Los Angeles Science Fiction and Fantasy Society)??
I believe that Robert Heinlein was a speaker numerous times, and also an actuall member of this organization.... (see their website) he may even have scheduled appearances a LASFS in the future....

[linus r.]

what is La-La Con??
"It's the Traditional Spring Relaxacon and Ultimate Party held at the LASFS Clubhouse (11513 Burbank Blvd., North Hollywood). A Spring time relaxing weekend event geared toward getting together, watching films, lounging around, reading the paper, taking a nap, and possibly attending some panels."

don't miss the Relaxacon!!

[messiestobjects]

I don't get out to LA very often, no. If I knew that Heinlein was going to be there I think I'd go in a flash though, because I think he's dead, so it would be a very interesting event for sure!

I'm really close to getting myself a ticket to San Francisco though, because Rudy Rucker, my latest Sci-Fi God, is having an art show there on Nov. 9,10, & 11.

It's soothing to realize that my mind's processes are inherently uncontrollable.
Rudy Rucker

[SPAnk]

I like the onion quote. I can almost hear the dramatic "sigh"

thanks for leaving the turd burgler link on my blog that I CANT SEE. what the frick?

atleast tell me what it is...and if you know whats good for you youll tell me its some dude with white and blue painted hands jerking off behind hardee's.

im just saying.

[messiestobjects]

You have to see it to believe it.

[SPANK]

that sir, was not the correct answer.

and now you shall all pay....muwhuhahahahha

not really. but maybe kindaish