Am I Alone In My Visceral Reaction To Bush's Monkeyface?

"Eating everything you want is not that much fun. When you live a life with no boundaries, there’s less joy. If you can eat anything you want to, what’s the fun in eating anything you want to?"
-Tom Hanks

I've recently lost about ten pounds. I've been going to the gym since September, not exactly regularly due to work travel, but whenever I'm home at least every other day if not every day. The first three months or so were kind of slow going... my stamina on the treadmill got incrementally better, but I maybe lost a pound or three during that time. Then, in the last month and a half or so, it began to drop rapidly. One time I weighed myself, right before I went to Fort Lauderdale, and I was at 204 lbs. When I got back from being down there for a week and not getting any real exercise, after my first workout I weighed myself again, and I was at 198. Then, once more due to work and other unforeseen drama in my life, it was two weeks before I was able to hit the gym again. So this past Monday I weighed myself and I was still at 198, and yesterday at 197 & ¾! It seems as though I've hit a certain mark in my exercise where my body has finally started to believe that I'm really serious about the whole thing, and has decided to pay attention. Sweet!

My diet probably also has something to do with it. I've been %90 faithful to my 2007 New Year's resolution to give up fast food, and I buy lots of whole wheat products and vegetables at the grocery nowadays. I still indulge in the occasional pizza of course, but I never buy chips or other junk food any more except for Tostitos (which they now have a whole wheat variety of!) and salsa. I use Olivio instead of butter, and buy organic milk. I've cut waaay back on my cheese intake also, mostly because I was paranoid about my cholesterol levels. I haven't eaten more than a pint or two of ice cream in the last six months. I take a bevy of vitamins in the morning and I drink Metamucil with dinner every night. And then I take some more vitamins.

This probably sounds annoying to you. I sincerely apologize. Before I got all health conscious, I hated people that exhibited this sort of behavior and then that's all they would talk about. But what I want to say about it is that I've learned some extremely valuable things by doing the gym thing, and they're not even all fitness related. But this first one is: Exercise and diet are mutually reinforcing.

When I first started going to the gym, I didn't really care too much to change my eating habits. I just wanted to get on the treadmill and work off those extra calories I'd eat the night before. I mean, I cared a little, because I'd just been told that my cholesterol was too high, but overall I still ate what I wanted. But once I'd been doing it for a few weeks, I found that when I went to the store, I'd pay more attention to those food content labels. I found that I actually wanted, for the most part, to avoid junk and high fat foods that I loved, because I'd been so good about working out that I wanted to control my calorie count in order not to undervalue all that hard work. The diet thing actually came very naturally... at no time did I ever feel that I was giving up food that I couldn't bear to give up. I never had to plan to diet... it just happened rather organically. Except for my Fast Food resolution. But even that made sense at the time because I'd just come back to the States and was indulging in all the bad stuff I'd missed while I'd been away, and I knew that if I didn't put the kibosh on it quick I'd be looking like the inbred lovechild of Mayor McCheese and the Grimace in no time.

I've learned loads of other things at the gym, but I'm sure they're all clichéd... More energy, better moods, blah blah blah. I mean, it's all true, but everybody's heard all that before. The only surprises in the whole enterprise for me have been that whole unforced desire to diet thing I just said and also the fact that losing weight happens quicker and more abruptly than one might have thought. Granted, it took me five months to get to that point, but once I finally did, cool. But there's one more thing, fairly unrelated to health but very interesting.

My gym has about 12 big TVs up on the wall in front of the cardio machines so that you can walk, run, bike, or do your elliptics while watching whatever mind-numbing crap is on whichever TV station. Each of the machines has a little channel box which you can plug your headphones into so that you can listen to whichever one you choose. Anyway, I always listen to my mp3 player, but I'll watch the TVs without sound anyway as it helps to distract from the pain of jogging. But yesterday they had CNN, FOX, and MSNBC news on at the same time, and I noticed that all three of them were running the same story at the same time; the one about Bush's latest bribe to us. You remember; he bribed us with a tax rebate when he first got into office, in the hopes we'd like him and not make too much noise when he later unveiled his diabolical plans to destroy the world, and now he's doing it again in the hopes that we'll all go "Oh see? He's not so bad." Jerk-off.

Anyway, that's not my point. My point was that I was watching these three major news networks broadcasting this story simultaneously, and not only the same story, but the same news blurbs under the talking heads, the same exact camera angles, and the same commercial breaks. Different commercials, though. At first I was kind of not too freaked out by it, because it's a big enough story that sure, they're all going to be there at the same time. But I'm on the treadmill for 35 minutes, and the stories continued to triplet each other, even the less important ones. Some news from Iraq, the Roger Clemens on steroids thing. For my entire 35 minutes on the treadmill, all three of those news networks parroted each other exactly, I swear to God. It was very upsetting. It's like they are so confident in their ability to slop feed us whatever nonsense someone is telling them to without anybody noticing or caring that they weren't even attempting to keep up the appearance of being different news sources anymore. They were all using the same camera guy, for God's sake! The guy typing up the word blurbs at the bottom of the screen is working for all three major news networks! I wonder how long before they convince everybody that they may as well conglomerate into one big news agency since their news is identical in importance, content, and spin, anyway. And how long before it's just el Presidente giving us his daily benediction, because if he doesn't say it, it's not worth knowing.

I do have to say though that seeing Bush's monkey face on the TV while jogging is really good for the heart rate. I instantly get angry and that adrenaline rush of hate really gets me going.

Oh, Happy Valentines day! I love you.

Comments

[Gary]

You should get that stomach bug I had. I lost like 7 or so lbs in just a few days. Awesome!

How tall are you btw?

[messiestobjects]

I went through a dramatic bout of depression recently... lost like three pounds. That was fun. I've had a few stomach viruses though, and they didn't do much for me unfortunately. That weight tends to come back pretty quickly.

I'm 5' 11".

[Gary]

I'm about 5'11" also and 200 lbs. After my vomiting and diarrhea I was around 190. I'd like to be 185 but I don't see that happening. When I was working out I never lost any weight at all. I was more muscular than I am now, which was nice. I think I just like being around 190-200. I cannot imagine getting down to like 170 - which would be considered normal for someone 5'11"

[messiestobjects]

Yeah, I guess that losing weight isn't so much the point as getting in shape is... I mean, I have a lot of weight to lose in my gut area, but if I turn my blobby beer fat into a rippin' six-pack of equal weight, I'll be happy. I use the Cybex toning machines every day, and my upper body has definitely seen some improvement, but I've got a ways to go before the belly's gone.

[Miss Luongo]

Aw, Happy Valentine's Day to you.

[Miss Luongo]

I knew a guy in high school who was an unbelievable cross country runner - set all sorts of records. He'd be out running around town training with the team, setting the pace for miles, when eventually he'd turn to the rest and say, "pretend like you're in 'Nam." Then he'd take off like a shot and they wouldn't see him again until they got back to the school. I think of him when I'm on the treadmill, but mostly it makes me think that if my life depended on my running skills, I'd be dead.

[messiestobjects]

I hate running. I reallllly hate it. It hurts everything. But, it feels good when I'm done, so I keep doing it. If my life depended on my running skills, well, all I'm saying is that if there wasn't a 15 minute session in the sauna in the bargain, I wouldn't last long.

[Gary]

I can't run. I prefer the eliptical machine if I must do cardio. It only hurts your calf muscles at first and then that goes away. I find it much easier on the joints.

[messiestobjects]

I tried using the elliptical machine once... Once. I was on it for like five minutes, and it absolutely killed me... Well, seriously it was a near-death experience though. That was a ways back, and I may be in better shape to handle it now, but I'm still scared.

And I got a bit of that joint pain back in the beginning also, especially in the knees, but I think they've strengthened because I only get muscle soreness now. I haven't noticed knee pain in a long time.

[Gary]

Yeah one time for 5 minutes isn't really enough to get used to it. It is a weird thing at first and I didn't like it either - but after a few times I liked it much more than the treadmill. Damn I was in such good shape then (2000-01). I could play intense racquetball matches and be loving it. I think I'd probably keel over after 10 minutes. It was sweet having free access to the Y (and having that 3 blocks away).

[Sissy]

I wasn't annoyed by this post at all. For two years now I've been struggling to get back in shape.

My physique is deceiving and every time I try and explain this, people think I'm being vain. I'm not. I was born muscular. Pics of me in a bikini 20 years ago look like pics of me in a bikini today. In college, I was a little chunkier than I am now, and having babies resulted in an instant 60-pound weight gain that took care of itself regardless of exercise or diet.

When my youngest was three (two years ago), I decided to return to running. I love to run, it's good for the heart, and it clears my head. I actually ran about 3 miles a day through my pregnancies. Spanky's fave story is of me running down main street in manayunk, 6 months pregnant, with morning sickness, and stopping at every trash can to puke. Good times.

So, two years ago I went for a run. My foot bothered me, but I figured it was normal since I hadn't run in about a year at the time. The following day, I stepped down on it wrong at gymnastics and broke the fucker. I was in a cast for nine weeks and haven't so much as gone for regular walks since then.

My eating is just as bad as my exercise. Cookies. Cookies. McDonald's. Cookies.

I layed in bed last night feeling like I was choosing to do myself in at the rate I am going.

I want to feel like I can take on the world again, the way I felt when I exercised regularly. I loved that feeling. I loved the view of the world from a bike, or a run, or even a walk. I loved the soundtrack that played through my headphones. I loved the thoughts that meandered through my mind during those "alone" times.

Maybe you have sparked something in me. Perhaps now is the time to get my ass in gear. All I have to do is go for a walk every day. That's a good start. And for the most part, as in everything I try to accomplish, starting is the hardest part. Once I'm in the groove, I'm good to go.

Congrats on your weight loss.

And thanks, in advance, for letting me put a post in a comment box.

(why the fuck do I do this?)

[messiestobjects]

Hey my pleasure... people posting in my comment space only adds to the coolness of my blog, and your thoughts are always welcome.

But I'm confused... you say that you don't do much exercise these days, but aren't you always doing gymnastics with your kids? And, if it's true that you haven't been really exercising, damn. You really were born lucky. When I don't get any exercise and eat like crap, I look like the inbred lovechild of Mayor McCheese and the Grimace.

[Miss Luongo]

I look the same (to myself) when I gain weight. I mean, I know I'm looking softer, but no big deal. Until I hit a point when my big pants don't fit. That's when I look hard at myself and realize I'm ... fat! And while I fleetingly wonder why no one mentioned it while it was happening, I'm grateful that my friends and family aren't so shallow that they've pointed it out.