messiestobjects

Place Keeper Place Keeper, Make Me A Post, Find Me A Place I Can Call All My Own

So in the tradition of Bridget Jones' Diary, I've been wanting to start a sort of stat list on certain numbers that are important to me these days. I'm not a girl, I swear. That book is really funny. You do NOT have to be a 30-something desperately single British girl to laugh at that book. The book I say, not the movie. The movie was kind of dumb. You're not allowed to make fun of me until you've read it. I also like The Gilmore Girls, what of it? Wanna fight?! I'll kick your Vin Diesel wannabe butt. Do tough guy posers still wanna be like Vin Diesel? Or is there a new poseur out there for them to cloak their inner inadequacies behind their idolatry of?

Of course we all have a tough guy we admire, though, so perhaps I'm not being fair. If I had to pick a tough guy I admire, it'd be Clive Owen in Children of Men in fiction, or that guy whose nephew had his arm bitten off by a shark a few years back in reality. He jumped in the water and chased down the shark, beat it up and dragged it onto shore, killed it and got the arm out, and they were able to successfully re-attach his nephew's arm. He beat up a shark. That guy is cool, and will never ever have problems with the ladies. True story, I swear. It happened at least a decade ago if not longer though, and I've been unable to find any reference to it online, but my friend Scott remembers it too, so I'm not making it up... unless it was one of his lies that he told for entertainment purposes back in the day and over the years we both forgot it was totally made up, like his famous story of the last great legal Stroudsburg gunfight showdown (yes, Western style) on lower main street in front of the McDonald's in the 70's.... hmm. I'll have to get back to you on this.

Anyway, my stat list:
Motorcycle odometer reading - 1504 miles (it had 3 miles on it when I bought it)
Weight - 194 lbs! (I weighed 212 lbs last September)
Stamina - 40 minutes at 5.8 mph on the treadmill (Last September? 5 minutes at 5.5)
Books published by someone I know - 1 (before May 27th 2008 - 0!) (Big fat congratulations, Julie!) (Everybody go buy a copy at Amazon and leave a review!) (NOW!!) (Or, you can also find it on the New Fiction table at Borders and other fine book chains) (By the way, really good publication party the other night J. Well done, great toast. Good food. Very entertaining conversation.) (I need a tattoo where I can see it in the mirror, now.)

Well anyway, I was supposed to have been in Alaska all last week... I had a job in Anchorage that I was supposed to fly directly to from Chicago, but it got canceled at the last minute. SO, bummer. That would have been a really good post. Which is why, of course, you're stuck with this self-conscious place keeping post instead. I consoled myself this week by catching up on other things. I've added 7 new galleries to my smugmug page... I'd been really slacking on uploading my recent U.S. travel pictures, mostly because I had a hard time finding them interesting enough to bother about. But when I went back and looked at all of them, I decided that there were in fact some good ones that I could be proud of, even if they're not quite foreign travel quality. So here they are: Neosho & Branson, Missouri, USA, St. Louis & Hannibal, Missouri, USA, The Clinton Museum in Fayetteville, Arkansas, USA, 3 Border Towns In Mexico, The Coral Castle, Homestead, Florida, USA, Seattle, Washington, USA, & Chicago, Illinois, USA. Or you can just go to the main page. Or not. I think that the best ones I already posted here, so, whatever.

I Totally Did The Crap Out Of Chicago

So on my most recent work iteration, I was sent to Chicago for a week in order to proctor two one-hour-long exams to three students. Which, if you do the math, left me with a city load of free time. I mean, not to preen or anything, but I really love my job sometimes. Chicago is a totally fun city. I was there once before, many years ago on a stopover on my way to Alaska by Greyhound bus. I had a friend that lived there, and I spent a night or two checking out the city with him. The main thing I remember was him taking me to see The Second City show. It's a comedy theater based in Old Town in Chicago where Saturday Night Live does much of their recruiting. The alumni list of the Second City main stage is intimidating.

Anyway, I of course bought tickets to revisit The Second City revue while on this trip, and when I was in the theater, waiting for the show to start, I saw a picture on the wall of the troupe from 1996, the year I'd been there before:

That's right! I saw Tina Fey when she was still just a pup! Pretty cool. But I have no recollection of the performance, really, except that I do vividly remember her pal there from 30 Rock, Scott Adsit (far right), because that hair really stuck out in my memory and he was really funny. He did some sort of a yodeling mountain man sketch that had me peeing my pants. Apparently I also saw Rachel Dratch and Kevin Dorff. I could be wrong about all this, because my memory of 12 years ago is probably faulty given the fact that none of the molecules that were in my brain then exist anymore, your body completely changing out it's physical composition every 7 years. It's science. But that picture said they were the 1996 troupe, so I'm going with it. The troupe I saw there last week was really funny also. I mean, I'm older now and a bit jaded when it comes to SNL type of comedy (The name of the revue is 'No Country For Old White Men', typical SNL parody fare. Though in all fairness, the show itself pretty much had nothing to do with the movie parodied in the title.); Nobody is ever going to be funnier than The Kids In The Hall. But they were really good, and I've got their picture and names down in case any of them become the next Tina Fey or Scott Adsit. My picks for future success are Amber Ruffin and Brad Morris. Joe Canale may make a great straight man comedian. (Who, if you put the accents on different syllables in his name, reads Joke Anal(e)... possibly a funny stage name? Or a fortunate accident at birth? Hmm.) They were all good, so who knows, but that's what I'd bet on in the OTB bar of comedy stardom.

The other thing I spent a lot of time doing, on Julie's suggestion, was touring Frank Lloyd Wright houses. He'd spent quite a few years in the Chicago area, and it has the highest concentration of FLW architecture anywhere. In fact his first important structure is in Oak Park, Illinois, a suburb of Chicago. It was his home and studio for around 6 years, I think. He also designed the Oak Park Unitarian Temple, and a student of his designed the Oak Park post office, the prettiest post office you ever did see. I wasn't allowed to take photos inside of any of the houses, which is really sad because the insides of FLW structures are usually what really matters. As an illustration of what I mean, I was allowed to get photos inside the Unity Temple, so here's an outside photo, and then a couple inside photos:

Right? Honestly, probably one of the most awe-inspiring church-type thingies I've ever stood in. I've stood in the mother of all churches, the Vatican's St. Peter's Basilica, and as pretty as it was, it inspired as much scorn and cynicism as anything else. (Of course I was drinking absinthe in the Vatican, so my impressions may have been untrustworthy.) FLW found his inspiration in simple lines set in complicated and beautiful ways. He relied on design and creativity, rather than wealthy materials and grand scales (though he wasn't against wealth, necessarily) to make his mark. His houses were amazing, also. In addition to the one in Oak Park, I visited the Robie House in Hyde Park, on the University of Chicago's campus. It's considered to be a masterpiece, but I can't show you why... here are some so-so interior shots I found on the web. And here's a window on the Robie House:

Let's see what else, what else... Oh, I did the Chicago City Pass. It included 5 big things: The Adler Planetarium, the Shedd Aquarium, the Field Museum, the Museum of Science and Industry, and a choice between a ride up to the Hancock observatory or to the skydeck on the Sears Tower. I used the city pass to go up the Sears Tower, because you can go up to the restaurant/bar on the 95th floor of the Hancock building for free, which I did. Here's a shot of how I look in the thermal spectrum! They had a heat sensing camera in the Science museum, located in the Hyde Park area.

Hmmm, I guess I'm devolving this into a photo journal. Well, pictures are better than words. Here's Lake Michigan.

And here's a shot of the city from the Hancock building. The spider is on the outside of the window... apparently the wind picks spiders up off the ground and blows them around the sky all the time, and sometimes they land one hundred stories up and make the best of a bad situation. That's the Sears Tower tall on the left.

This is a weird public art statue that reminds me of the nice fairy version of a Silent Hill monster.

I was walking down the busy Chicago shopping street known as Miracle Mile, when I noticed Phil Donahue being interviewed through a street level window on a radio studio! My mom used to love his show when I was a kid. I sat there grinning like an idiot, snapping photos, until Phil noticed me. I waved. He waved back. Then I realized it was possible that they were also filming the show as they sometimes do, because other people were rushing past as though they didn't want to be seen, and I bolted. I'm hoping to God that my idiot mug didn't show up on some Chicago TV segment. Ugh. But what I heard of the interview was really good. He was talking about how much the news and other media has turned into a circus... he said that even though he now has like 500 channels on his TV, the bowflex is on every one of them. Wish I could've stuck around for more; he's still pretty sharp, that guy. Phil is on the left, and my idiot mug is reflected in the window on the far right.

I guess that's mostly it. I can't think of any other crazy Chicago stuff I did. But you know, there is so much to do in Chicago, and so much good food, it's not surprising if it turns out that I've forgotten something... I kept very busy all week. Chicago is a city I would love to live in; I doubt I'd ever get bored there. It also has a really good vibe. It's a very clean city, it's got this total art deco thing going on in its design, it's on one of the Great Lakes, and there is a ton of park area, adding lots of fresh and green to that whole clean vibe thing. I'll leave this post with a night shot of the city, taken from the Sears Tower.

I Haven't Done This In A While, But I Really Enjoyed This Special Comment

PART ONE

PART TWO

Peace, Love, German Gasthausen, And All That Hippie Catskill Junk

I took my new motorcycle on its inaugural ride up to the Catskills for an overnighter this week. I'd never realized how close the Catskills are to the Poconos, and when I was looking over a map to try and figure out what would make a good ride, I noticed that you can pretty much take route 209 straight up to Woodstock! So that's what I did. Very nice ride. In Woodstock, which is not where the titular festival was held as it turns out, (That would be in Bethel, NY) I found the Yellow Submarine:

Some hippie had turned an old church into an Art Studio dedicated to Love art. All hearts and bright colors and whatnot. Folk art. Damn dirty hippies.

The Catskills are really pretty, but it's a pain in the butt to stop the bike, get off, and dig out my camera every time I want to take a picture, so I tended not to. Besides, pictures of hills and nature and what all are usually not nearly as interesting in photo form as they are when you're there looking at it, so really you're grateful that I'm sparing you, I know. But here's one of my motorcycle in front of an interesting tree stump.


There is a town named Tannersville in the north of the Catskills State Park area, and I found a Swiss chalet there to spend the night in! It's run by an old German dude named Robert who was a ski / snowboard instructor for the US Olympic team. His nickname is the Red Baron, and he wears one of those pointy WWI era German helmets to the races. Anyway, I think he only called it a Swiss Chalet due to marketing reasons; it felt much more German than Swiss. He was also the cook there, which you have to appreciate. He made some awesome German food, Schnitzel with apples and brandy, and he served Dinkel Acker! One of my favorite German dark beers. The hotel was otherwise empty, it being the off season in the Catskills, and the room I stayed in reminded me in many ways of some of the German guest houses I've stayed in... Big blocky wooden furniture, hard beds and clean sheets, an old poster ad from the 70s for Interlaken on the wall; even the smell of the soap and the shower heads reminded me of Germany! It felt like home.


Next morning I took a longer route back by driving North a bit more and hooking on to route 10, which was really beautiful, until it took me to route 97 south, which is apparently a famous biker road in the area as it follows the Delaware river all the way down to Port Jervis, the last town in NY before crossing over the river into PA. Very pretty.

Have I said yet that I love my new toy? Whee! But it's all rainy out today, so it does have it's limitations. Guess I'll clean the house and go to the gym. Sigh.

I'm Crushing Your Head!!

I saw The Kids In The Hall last night! They came to the State Theater in Easton, and of course, as any truly rabid KITH fan, I'd had my tickets since they first went on sale a month or so ago. Julie and I rode my awesome new fun machine (i.e. motorcycle) out on route 611 to go see them.

Let me start out, right off the bat, by saying that they were awesome. They are, of course, among the greatest comedy troupes of all time. They had a TV show which lasted for four glorious seasons, and a fifth merely great one. For the last decade or so they've done various things on their own, NOT as a group, which always seemed insane to me. Their particular brand of comedy never seemed like it could function apart from each other, and their checkered solo careers bear that sentiment out, I believe. Dave Foley was the most successful of them, having a leading role in the sitcom News Radio and I think he's hosted Celebrity Poker as well (actually, the Head Crusher made fun of him for that in a very funny encore skit), and the others have had various degrees of success themselves... Scott Thompson had a bit part in Mickey Blue Eyes and a stint on Larry Sanders' show, Bruce McCulloch directed a few movies and had a couple of guest appearances on the Gilmore Girls, Mark McKinney was in Saturday Night Live for a bit and starred in some movie with Isabella Rossellini, and Kevin McDonald had four measly lines in Galaxy Quest, and has done various cartoon voices and other guest appearances.

They are all very funny people, but together, they're gold. I'm extremely happy that they finally figured that out. They got back together and wrote a bunch of new material, and last night's show was fucking hilarious. Pardon my potty mouth, but that's how funny they were. Here's a video which they used to open their show:

The part where Bruce mouths something and then Mark is like "Oh yeah those guys are crazy", they voiced over in a very Price-Is-Right announcer-like voice; "Easton, Pennsylvania!" It was funny live, in an easy joke kind of way. Then at the end when they all run out, they all run on stage chasing Kevin in his underwear with an apple in his mouth. They did some really funny new material, including a sketch about two men fighting over an imaginary girlfriend, Bruce as a superhero called Superdrunk, a great Hitler/beer/blowjob/time machine bit, and even one with an evil soul-sucking baby. Of course they brought out some of their beloved favorites, Chicken Lady, Gavin, Head Crusher, and the two Kathies, (with one of them on a new diet plan called "tweaking on crystal meth") but they used new punchlines for them, so it was all good. No, brilliant. Anyway, guess you had to be there.

Okay okay, I'm done now. I'd post them all, if I could. They're so awesome.

Masturbiketion

I got a new motorcycle! That's it right there. Pretty, right? It's a Honda Shadow Spirit 1100. It's a lotta bike. I picked it up at Rusty Palmer's in Honesdale, PA the other day and rode it back on route 402. Saw an owl swoop right in front of me... in the middle of the day! Awesome ride. Awesome bike. I'm pretty elevated this week. This is me on the bike:

I look like a biker! I'll fool 'em all.

So I'll be selling my old 250 soon... I'm going to do a little work on it and make it pretty first. Plus I promised to teach Julie how to ride, and considering that the 1100 might be too much bike for me, a seasoned rider (snicker), and that the 250 is insured until August anyway, I'll keep it around for a bit.

So if any body's interested, let me know. I put around 2000 miles on it, so it's still pretty virginal and in great shape, and I gotta tell ya it was a fantastic bike to learn on. It's really strong for a 250 and it's pretty cool looking. Real bikers often mistook me for another real biker on it and gave me the cool biker wave all the time. For the low low blue book price of $2,000, it could all be yours: