Mon. May 10, 2004 - Man-eating Rolex Prices

 So if you haven’t been living under a rock, you’ve seen some pretty interesting stuff on the news about my temporary hometown lately... Alright, I need to clear something up. I was not one of the prison guards! They photoshopped my face onto that guy! I mean, did you see how built that guy was? Anybody who knows me at all knows that that physique is beyond my capabilities. It’s an uncanny resemblance, though, and my Iraqis have been picking on me a lot lately. They keep asking what exactly I’ve been doing after work everyday, and whether I enjoy torturing prisoners as much as I enjoy torturing housekeepers. To which I reply; Shut up and put your mask back on.

Just kidding. But check out that picture... They flash it on the news all of the time.  I hate it.
The last couple of weeks have been pretty good for me... On April 14^th Scott went on vacation to China, and so I moved down to the South Villa site to cover for him while he was gone. Then a couple of days after he got back, Rodney left and I have remained to cover for him. Being at the South Villa site has been somewhat like a vacation. There’s a really nice swimming pool nearby, which is incredibly good to have around for after work as temperatures are once again consistently reaching the 100s. There is also an Iraqi Bazaar just around the corner, where they sell rugs, watches, (both copy watches and real watches that probably fell off the back of a truck mixed together) parakeets, computer supplies, old Iraqi dinar and new, coins, scooters, old war knives... you know. Basically a flea market. But it’s fun to go there every couple of days and haggle for something you have no reason to buy except for the fact that the old guy thinks this beautiful genuine Rolex was made for my wrist and I can rob it from him for $40 because I get the price he’d only give his brother, as I am obviously a great man and am like a brother to him. And then I get to tell him that he’s robbing me blind, how does he expect me to feed my family if I have to pay $40?! If he truly thought I was like a brother, he would not want my children, (his nieces and nephews!), all seven of them, to starve tonight and I couldn’t afford to pay more than $15. Ah it’s true, and he begins to show the more human side of his nature by having a little feeling and dropping his price to $35, for the children, but that I’d be a scoundrel to rob any more money from his table; he’ll be eating scraps tonight as it is, and he’ll have to put off buying milk for his baby for another day, but for such a close friend he’ll do it.
  And so on.
I think everybody already knows this, but I did buy a scooter and have had a real good time driving it around. There’s so much in the area to see! I’ve gone and visited Uday Hussein’s Man-eating lions a few times. They eat people. Well, not any more. They’re so cute. The scooter really excites their curiosity, too. When you drive it in circles around their cage, they chase it with as much fascination as a kitty with a ball of string. I think that they think it’s some sort of round-footed cat with a growling purr. It’s also really cute how when the scooter is turned off, and you’re just standing there in front of the cage, they stare really intently at your foot, with perhaps a touch of salivation. I’ve also drag-raced around the Iraqi Tomb of the Unknown Soldier with Oscar and Billy, two other IAP guys, until we were chased off by angry security guards. Driving up and down Celebration square is also a lot of fun. My biggest joy with the scooter, though, is the looks I often get from soldiers as they drive by in their tanks and armored convoys dressed in full battle gear, while I zip by on my scooter wearing shorts, t-shirt and sunglasses. You see, I haven’t seen a single American here, aside from us IAP folk, who drives a scooter. So we’re a bit of an oddity. AFRC Baghdad!
So by the time Rodney gets back from vacation, it’ll be just about time for me to go; I leave here on June 2^nd for Dubai, and on the 3^rd I fly to Morocco! I’m meeting my old friend Christy from PA there, so I’m really looking forward to it. Casablanca, Marrakech... all that good stuff. After living in this hot, dusty, Middle Eastern Muslim environment for so long, it’s going to be really nice to vacation in Morocco, which is completely opposite; instead it’s a hot, dusty, African Muslim country... oh wait. Now I get it. Well, too late. I’ve always wanted to see Marrakech, though, and at least there are no terrorists there... Oh, crap. Well, anyway, after Baghdad, it’s going to be real nice.

Well, I guess that’s all I got for now. I updated my pictures on messiestobjects.smugmug.com recently, if anybody’s interested.

Until next time!

  Michael